Bill White's Extremely Cruel Hall of Shame

Every year or so, the Morning Call's terrorist columnist, Bill White, inducts another hapless and completely innocent soul into his so-called "Hall of Fame."  He likes to call it his collection of the area's "most colorful characters," but it's really the modern equivalent of our colonial era ducking stool, a rogues' gallery. It's no honor, but a public embarrassment and humiliation. It's extremely cruel and heartless.

I wish I had thought of it.

As happens nearly every year, I'm a  nominee. What kills me is that two of my so called friends,  John Stoffa and Ron Angle, are responsible. Stoffa told me he nominates himself every year, and added me this year, too. I responded that just because he's half out of his mind is no reason to drag me down with him. The nomination is bad enough. Last night I told him I feel like jumping off a bridge.

He said I should wait seven months or do it in Lehigh County.

No frickin' sympathy at all.  So much for the County Exec with a heart.

Then there's Angle. He's the bastard with the demented sense of humor, who suggested that I be lumped in with the Wicked Witch of West Easton, Tricia Mezzacappa. He even wants Mezzacappa's pig inducted.. Very, very funny. Ron should be on Saturday Night Live. I called him to complain, and all he did was laugh maniacally like Dr. Evil.

Just for that, I want you all to know that Angle has about fifty forged wills.

I complained to Allentown blogger Michael Molovinsky, hoping for some tea and sympathy. Another mistake. He is now threatening to contact White, too, with the usual "mancrush" accusations. Unlike Michael, I do like one or two people. Molovinsky did not care much for my John "Abe Lincoln, Henry V" Callahan post.

As an award-winning broadcast journalist, I figured a word with White would end this unfortunate turn of events. We're both pricks, so I figured I'd at least  get some professional courtesy. I made things worse.

What do you expect from terrorist columnist who is also a Fabian Socialist?

(I sprained my back earlier this week,and was unable to do much on Thursday, except cry in my pillow. So this rant is it for today. I will have a great story about a friend on Monday, one who did not nominate me to Bill White's Hall of Fame. )