Local Government TV

Friday, August 13, 2021

Surveillance Footage IDs Bike Thief

As you know, some bastard stole my Cannondale Trail 5 Super Bike less than an hour after completion of my 335-mile trek from Pittsburgh to DC. As I celebrated at an over-rated and overpriced restaurant in the nation's capitol, the perp was able to steal my locked bike by simply removing the handlebars and slipping the lock off.

What this prick did not know is that there is surveillance footage. If you see the obvious criminal below, have no fear. He's not particularly dangerous unless he's sailing. He is armed, but only with Black's Law Dictionary.

12 comments:

  1. Call Joe, bet he has it ! lol It's DC, what else would anyone expect from this ......... The land of corruption, drugs and thieves.

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  2. So the pic of the old guy in a suit and tie above your post is the prick who stole your bike? Thought he was masked?

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  3. He took the mask off to lose for the surveillance photo and texted me he’s coming for my other bikes

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  4. That is a distinguished attorney, you miscreant!

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  5. Lucky your bike was stolen--you could have shot

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  6. Speaking of taking something Bernie, you have an in with these politicians. How about telling Heffner that instead of vacationing in NE and going to another political women's convention, she pay her damn bills. She claims no money but has enough to run around all over the place and posting to social media.. Get real!

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  7. First, I have no "in with all these politicians." Some of them, including Heffner, have blocked me on Facebook. I'd say I'm disliked more than I'm liked. Second, I have no idea if or where Heffner is vacationing, or for how long. Third, I'd never take someone to task for going on a vacation. Fourth, I have no idea whether she claims poverty or what she posts on social media. Fifth, I only get into personal matters when it has a direct impact on someone's official role. Sixth, your comment is clearly a violation of my comments policy as it is off topic. Having violated my policy, you fail to supply any facts to support your deep dive into someone's personal life.

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  8. Next time ,chain it down to a parking meter, than the handle bar doesn’t have to come off.

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  9. what did you expect. you associate with known felons.


    KNOWN FELONS!!!

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  10. My son was staying in College Park Md one summer, which was the bike theft capital of the U.S. His locked bike was stolen, right in front of an obvious camera that the local police were actually watching. They arrested the guy quickly and recovered the bike. However, it was a 3 day ordeal over tens of miles for him to get the bike back. The local bike shop in College Park then convinced him to buy a much more sophisticated lock.

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