Today's one-liner: "The shortest way to the distinguishing excellence of any writer is through his hostile critics." Richard LeGallienne
Local Government TV
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Thursday, June 01, 2017
They're Finally Making a Movie About Me
All I can say is it's about time. According to Lehigh Valley Live, Main Street will be closed today, right in front of my estate. The official line is that they are shooting scenes for a movie about - yawn!- the changing role of women in the '60s. But as anyone with any sense knows, it's really a movie about me. Bernie the Blogger is the tentative title. I have no idea who is playing me, but am told it will start with a perp walk by Nazareth's notorious Sticker Gang, in shackles and chains. Poker machines will be part of the plot. I asked for numerous sex scenes, but the Director told me he wanted something people could believe. Free cupcakes will be offered to inconvenienced motorists
16 comments:
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A steamy love scene with you and TM is being scripted. Whatever acting talents you have will stretched to the limits.
ReplyDeleteI'd be rescued at the last minute by ... Oh that's right. Nobody would save me.
ReplyDeleteThe sticker goons will come to your aid but since they will be addled by booze and dope, they will get lost on the way there.
ReplyDeleteTo quote that famous 90's movie "Weekend At Bernie's". AAWWWWWWW BERNIE!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Blog?
ReplyDeleteHoney I Ate the Kids?
Godzilla?
Tommyboy?
With Carl Strye directing and Larry Stoudt producing.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who is playing me..
ReplyDeleteHow about Brad Pitt?
Bernie, just another bunch of assklowns trying to sell the same old bottle of snake oil for the freekshow that is of national perportion.
ReplyDeleteI would come to you resque if the pig lady hagg was to try and molest you in any half rate clipp! I allready know the assklowns movie designs that belong on the back midway of years past, that by the way is no longer playing in any venue.
Maybe you could borrow a popcorn machine to feed the masses
ReplyDeleteFake News hits the Lehigh Valley
ReplyDeleteWHO COULD PLAY BERNIE THE BLOGGER?
ReplyDeleteLet's see........if you had a swastika on your forehead, it could be "Charlie Manson". No that wouldn't work cause they won't let him out of Gaol. I know, "Lou Costello"s son", No, he doesn't weigh enough. He only weighs 400 lbs. Don't worry Bernie, we'll find someone. We won't let you down. Okay, I got it. How about New Jersey governor Christie? give him a wiffle like you and it's instant stardom. I know he isn't as handsome as you are but a little make-up goes a long way. With his looks, He could stop traffic in the Holland tunnel, with your looks, you could stop the mules on the Lehigh Canal ride.
We love ya Bernie
So that's why I saw George Clooney this morning in the area....
ReplyDeleteYour check is in the mail, Pippy.
ReplyDeleteI knew something was up in Nazareth when I saw Rosie O'Donnell and Scarlett Johansson. The movie guy told me they were shooting,"Bernie and Trish, a Love Story". Can't wait to see it.
ReplyDeleteSaw ya buddy, Ed Degrace, today. Is he going to be in your movie?
ReplyDelete@1:41Yes one of the plot threads will be an homage Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men." In a bit of typecasting, Degrace will be playing the big retard "Lenny."
ReplyDelete