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Thursday, September 03, 2015

Nazareth To Suck It Up, Cupcake, on its 275th Birthday

This could only happen in Nazareth. At this time last year, Nazareth was the laughing stock of Northampton County. Upset over tiny postage stamp-sized "FT" stickers that sought his ouster, Chief Thomas Trachta launched a full-scale investigation, chained and shackled three suspects, perp walked them, and then lost his case in court because he had no evidence. Magisterial District Judge Jackie Taschner told him to "suck it up, Cupcake!"  Now the entire Borough can do so. Free cupcakes are being offered to anyone who wants them after the parade.

Last time I offered Nazareth Borough Council cupcakes, they ended up in a trash can. 

I hear the ones being passed will be marked "FT."

The Parade starts Saturday, September 12 at Nazareth High School at 2 pm and winds its way through the town. The Mayor was looking for convertibles from which borough council members can wave at the unwashed masses. 

The big question is whether the Sticker Gang will crash the parade. I think they'll be on horseback.
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10 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 12:44 AM

    Hmmm - the parade starts at 2.

    Any particular day?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bernie O'HareSeptember 3, 2015 at 12:48 AM

    Saturday

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 1:13 AM

    The sticker goonies better consume all their intoxicants before participating in this event and keep a low profile or else they will wind up drying out in Trachta's townie tank for the umpteenth time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 5:36 AM

    The sticker goons will be handing out cupcake flavored cigarettes. Stolen checks and drugs will cost you. Also free coupons to the 7-11 may be available.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bernie O'HareSeptember 3, 2015 at 10:18 AM

    A comment at 7:26, which includes dead space, has been deleted.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 1:42 PM

    275 years of pure hicks

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    I really think the Fire Trachta stickers could have been larger. Also, what's with the font choices, guys? The sticker gang can do better. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mr. HankeySeptember 3, 2015 at 3:19 PM

    Forget the cupcakes. Throw Christmas poo.

    Howdy ho from the bowels of Nazareth! Call Ron Angle. Let's party!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2015 at 10:09 PM

    I think a chant " FU! FT! " is appropriate for the council and mayor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 4, 2015 at 3:05 AM

    Residents support law enforcement over trouble making bums any day of the week.

    ReplyDelete

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