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Wednesday, May 06, 2015

How to Beat a Parking Ticket in Nazareth

Want to know how to beat a parking ticket in Nazareth? Easy. First, get 2,000,000,000,000,000,000 parking tickets and pay them off, as I have done. Then plead not guilty to the 2,000,000,000,000,000,001th parking ticket. Judge John Capobianco found me not guilty yesterday, not because I deserved it, but because I'm a high volume customer. After pleading guilty so many times, he reasoned, I must be innocent at least once.

Basically, he gave me a discount.

"But Judge, now I have nothing to write about," I complained. "Can't you at least have me chained and perp walked?"

"Get out of here."

"How about handcuffs?"

"Get lost."

I have vowed to appeal.
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 6, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    Aren't you the sly one. You must have bribed the Judge with some of Tracta's cupcakes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 6, 2015 at 8:37 AM

    Why not just feed the meter or do you park in front of fire hydrants and in handicap spots like a weasel?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bernie O'HareMay 6, 2015 at 9:44 AM

    No. I never park in front of a hydrant or in handicapped spots. The ticket i fought was bc I was parked outside the line, but i was unable to see the line bc of snow and salt on the road.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 6, 2015 at 12:10 PM

    You implied that you get a lot of parking tickets.

    That's ridiculous to get a ticket when the lines are covered.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bernie O'HareMay 6, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    I do get lots of tickets, usually for OT PARKING.

    ReplyDelete

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