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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Really Am Full of Shit

Back in the day, when I was a highly-conditioned, well-trained, athlete, I still had a big problem. I could never digest milk or cheese. Although I love them both, especially ice cream, I was lactose intolerant. If I ate ice cream or cheese, or had milk in my cereal, I was condemning myself to several very unpleasant hours on the toilet.

When I stopped exercising, however, all that changed. I was finally able to drink a Vanilla milkshake with no sudden side effects. I could eat bon bons with reckless abandon. I could even spread all kinds of cheese over sandwiches.

I've been exercising again - mostly walking - since early this Summer. And I've had no problem with yogurt or cheese or milk ... until tonight. And it came at a bad time.

Around 6 PM, I stopped at Giant for dinner - a salad and 1/4 lb. of cheddar cheese. From there, it was off to Bethlehem Township for the bi-weekly Board of Commissioners' meeting. About ten minutes into the meeting, I had a sudden urge to use the toilet. No sooner had I done that and returned to my seat, than I had to go again.

And again.

And again.

After a quick ride home, my first stop was my bathroom. No sooner had I sat down at the computer than I had to go again.

And again.

And again.

On top of that, I broke out in hives.

I guess this is a sign I must be getting back in shape. To my many detractors, who claim I'm full of shit, you're so right.

I'm in no condition to write about what happened in Bethlehem Township tonight, so you'll have to wait until later today or tomorrow.

If you need me, knock on the can.
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17 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 1:16 AM

    Imodium, my friend....Imodium AD will solve everything.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 1:40 AM

    TMI O'Hare, TMI

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 6:53 AM

    thanks for sharing..........

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 8:07 AM

    Please write again about Monday's post so we can comment on WF.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    I wonder if it was the salad bar at Giant? The salad bar has been known to breed horrible germs, infections and explosive GI problems.

    Eating bread may help to absorb some lactose, or germs (probably Ecoli) so you get a break from the toilet.

    Trish

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    i never eat from salad bar's anymore...one bad experence was enough ...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bernie O'HareAugust 16, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    I think I'll take a few pictures and post them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    Of what?

    ReplyDelete
  9. EllenAugust 16, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    Wow Bernie!!! I hope the seat was up this time....lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bernie O'HareAugust 16, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    I remembered that this time.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Not any more you're not!

    BTW, a great accessory to your exercise regime would be a rebounder. You can buy one from an American manufacturer, Needak, which makes better quality than the ones you can buy in the sporting goods stores, for about $200. I use mine every day. It takes up little room, is easy to move, no electricity involved, and you can buy folding ones that stow in the car trunk, so you can take it to public meetings and let off steam during breaks.

    Cleans out the lymph system, while giving you aerobic workout.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Bernie O'HareAugust 16, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Wow! That really seems like a great little toy, and one I never heard of until your comment. checked it out and it seems you are right. It might be a lifesaver during cold weather months. I have a friend who hates to go outside in the cold, but thinks that gyms are germ factories, and I agree with her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Bernie if my memory serves me right you have these "episodes" occasionally. Considering your age perhaps it would be beneficial to consider having a physical and perhaps a colonoscopy to rule out any untoward cause . Just a suggestion. p.d.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bernie O'HareAugust 16, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Thanks, pd. I will get that physical soon.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Gross.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    Your nightly sessions with Angle and Stoffa do not count as colonoscopies.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousAugust 16, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    Definitely sounds like a milk allergy.

    ReplyDelete

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