I received an email from prominent Allentown barrister Richard J Orloski telling me that US Senators Bob Casey and Pat Toomey are seeking applications for Federal District Court Judge for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.Application forms are at Senator Casey's website, and must be submitted by July 15.
This is a an amazing job. You've got it for life. The pay is $174,000, almost as much as I make from blogging, and you're allowed to earn another $21,000 from ... ahem ... teaching.
So what are the requirements? Actually, there are none. You don't even need to be a lawyer.
I've been asked to apply many times, but I've always put it off because I thought it would interfere too much with my blogging. Several other local luminaries have already filed applications.
Ron Angle is one of them. "Hey, if I can't beat them, I'll join the senile bastards," he growled. "Just think about it. I can decide my own cases and cut out the middleman. That will save taxpayers money, and that's how I roll."
Another applicant, Morning Call columnist Bill White, touts his considerable experience judging chili ... cake ... pie ... cows ... and even politicians. "I don't eat the politicians," he assures me. "I can file hilarious opinions three days a week. Even Scalia can't top that," he bragged. "The first thing I'll do is issue a bench warrant for Sam Zell. This would be so bad ass."
As strong as these candidates may be, the Lehigh Valley's very own Fat Bastard reputedly has the inside track. That's right, Northampton County Controller Steve Barron has given up his dreams of County Exec, State Senate, State Representative, Bethlehem Mayor, Congressman and union agent, for a seat on the bench.
"I'm a cinch," he told me in an interview late yesterday. "After all, I almost passed the bar exam and I know words like ex post facto and shit like that. It's res judicata, baby. See what I mean? I can't help myself. Hey, is that asbestos on your hair?"
Great Post. Here his people have been talking county executive and State Senator. All the while he is looking at the federal bench.
ReplyDeleteI must say, he does make a fetching "Fat Bastard". Now I get te entire kilt deal.
Why do you feel the need to set people up for failure?
ReplyDeleteThat's How I Roll?
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha, never let the truth interfere with a good story. :D
8:42, Have you never heard of something called humor?
ReplyDeleteWhat's funny about calling someone a fat bastard?
ReplyDeleteKnow any fat people, Bernie?
Know any bastards?
And yeah, I get it. Barron is Fat Bastard, Ron Angle is Dr. Evil, you're mini me and Charlie Dent is the Medicare slasher who doesn't want Grammy to have her medicine...oops, that's a different movie.
Got carried away there, but then, you know how that is, don't you, Bernie.
The humor is on me now, boys, the humor is on me now. And so on et cetera et al ad infinitum........
Shouldn't Mike Fleck be considered? He has degrees in business, law, engineering, applied sciences, underwater fire prevention and gynecology. He holds the Joe Isuzu Chair at Ossamattawitch U. He also has a paper route. That's rather sturdy timber if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteA worthy choice, to be sure.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone tried the Fat Bastard brand of wine?
ReplyDeleteIts the worst I have ever had
It's French, you know.
ReplyDeleteExtremely pungent, and they changed their logo from a wild boar to a hippo. I dont buy it anymore.
ReplyDeleteBernie, I would love to see a photo of Barron holding a bottle of Fat Bastard wine, in the kilt too...
Melissa Pavlick has applied.
ReplyDeleteTo view your fat ass Brenda we would need a widescreen tv. Also photoshop's not free so you won't see anything like that from BO.
ReplyDelete"So what are the requirements? Actually, there are none. You don't even need to be a lawyer."
ReplyDeleteSince you don't need to be a lawyer, that makes you the number one candidate Berno!!
Have you read my blog?
ReplyDeleteI actually had that wine - "Fat Bastard". I saw the name and just had to have since I am an Austin Power fan.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I agree, not very good at all. But what an awesome name!
Barron von Shitski prefers "Blithering Idiot" beer. He's full of it.
ReplyDeletecunningham or callahan for fed judge - anything to get rid of them
ReplyDeletei still think the tornado idea was good
ReplyDeleteThis Barron guy should be paying Bernie for all the exposure. In his four years as Controller his major achievement was to get censured by County Council and given two turkeys by the Easton Express. the guy is a wannabe pol. who can'
ReplyDeletet hold a job in the private sector. I feel bad for his wife.
Hey O'Hare, I see your buddy at the Express, Joke Owens is protecting your other buddy Angle. They won't post this "guest column" on line. I guess they don't want to have his feelings hurt by all the people writing about the bullshit Angle is still peddling. Stoffa and Angle aren't even trying anymore they just repeat the same unproven and disputed crap over and over again.
ReplyDeleteYea, Ron Angle, now speaking of fat bastards....
Maybe Restucci?? She still has plenty of signs left.
ReplyDeleteWhy not tell Dave (Romeo) Gawlick about this open federal judgeship. I understand he's still looking for a job.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious, has a judge ever left a PA appellate court position for the federal bench? Jack Panella and Robin Simpson would both be great. Experienced trial judges both with great qualifications.
ReplyDeleteI assume that Judge Freedburg would be considered too old and would be adverse to the process after what happened when Clinton put him up.
@10.21
ReplyDeletean award that nobody wants, given out by a paper that nobody reads. Is that what they mean by a double negative?
"I'm curious, has a judge ever left a PA appellate court position for the federal bench? Jack Panella and Robin Simpson would both be great."
ReplyDeleteGood question. I think they would both be great. It might be considered a step down for them.
Aye Captain!
ReplyDeleteIs this teletubby a new Johnny Casino in training?
What is the scoop on this guy. he seems a bit off.
Teletubbies are beloved the world over, except by those on the American Right, particularly the Religious Right, who can't stand the joy they bring to so many.
ReplyDelete