Local Government TV

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Thursday, May 05, 2011

A Used Car Salesman's Will

As some of you know, I search real estate titles when people buy homes or land. If the person I'm searching is dead, I have to look at his or estate, including the Will. Over the years, I've seen some doozies. Last month, I decided to start sharing some of the more colorful final wishes. I started with "Poor Spunky," the tale of a Bethlehem Township woman whose Will left instructions that her dog, Spunky, be euthanized and buried with her.

Ruh roh.

This month, I'm going to tell you about an Allentown used car dealer who passed away with lots of property, and relatives, in both Northampton and Lehigh County. He had something to say to each of his heirs.

One son got 51% of his used car lot, but the other only got 49%, and that was conditioned on his not having "been convicted or pled [sic] guilty to a drug or drug related offense, regardless of severity." And this is what Dad told the 49% son. "If you were a real man you wouldn't have taken that other bitch to live with. You were married to one of the best women in the world."

To his daughter, whom he likes even less than his 49% son, he has these final loving thoughts. "I leave you only what you get because you are lazy and can't accept responsibility for anything."

He calls his brother as a "whoremaster," but then confesses he was one, too.

He leaves the bulk of his estate to his granddaughter, but warns her to stay away from his ex and his daughter. "We never had much of a relationship because of your mother and grandmother, both asses have to interfere. If you get married don't move in the house they will interfere."

This dude should have been a blogger. He was a used car salesman, so that's close.
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2 comments:

  1. Karen M. SamuelsMay 5, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    I am currently taking a course on British history. My next assignment requires that I go through wills written in the 1600s to draw conclusions about the people when they were alive. Oh how I wish there were colorful wills like these to read.

    ReplyDelete
  2. tinkerbellMay 5, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    HAHAHA!!!

    ReplyDelete

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