Thanks to Bossman Long, Rosenthal Reappointed to Norco Elections Commission

As most of you know, I'm incredibly handsome. It's a curse, really. Women constantly call, email and knock at my door. I've ruined countless marriages without even trying. Cosmetic surgery to enlarge my nose has backfired - women just think I'm well endowed in other areas.

Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. I'm also a genius. I listen to classical music, attend foreign movies, wear glasses, drink espresso, read books and do all kinds of shit like that. Need I say more?

Earlier this week, in one of my more brilliant posts, I told you Northampton County Executive John Stoffa should withdraw Joan Rosenthal's reappointment to the elections commission. He was sailing into deep and turbulent waters.

Stoffa is not nearly so pretty or smart as I (note I said "I," not "me"). I decided to help. I emailed my post to his office, but that damn Mailer Daemon kept hurling it back at me. So I printed a copy and ran it up to his office. His secretary, who appears to be immune to my many charms, scheduled me for an appointment on February 31. Because I'm so damn smart, I knew February 31 would be too late. I took another copy of my essay and slapped it on Stoffa's windshield. The damn thing kept blowing off, so I decided to twist the wiper around it. And when it started raining, I smashed one of his smaller windows to keep it nice and dry.

A good government type, Stoffa would appreciate this.

Then, amazingly, I saw John in a hallway yesterday. Man, was he wet! He even had icicles all around his Rudolph red nose. The moment he saw me, he started running, presumably trying to impress me with his wellness program. I took the elevator and beat him to his office.

"John, did you have a chance to look over my Rosenthal post?"

Stoffa: "Where's the frickin' deputies? I'll give them whatever they want! They can take their damn cars home ... "

"John, I'm not here about that."

At that point, former Director of Administration Jim Hickey bolted out of Stoffa's office in a batman suit, and threw me off the courthouse roof. The snow and ice broke my fall. So unfortunately, Stoffa never did get my message.

And things weren't looking good for Rosenthal. She probably could have counted on Council Prez Wayne Grube, but he was uncharacteristically MIA. He never misses meetings, and I hope his health is OK.

Because Grube was absent, Dems only needed four votes to kill the nomination. And they have four votes. But when the dust had settled, Rosenthal was reappointed. Democrat Ann Mchale voted for her.

For that, Rosenthal can thank Dem Bossman Joe Long. He apparently took it upon himself to try and strongarm the imperious Ann McHale earlier this week. McHale is not the kind of person you push around - she's the kind of person who pushes you around. Bad move, Joe. You're obviously no genius.

Once council had reappointed Ms. Rosenthal, this elegant lady stood and thanked them. But the person she should really send a Christmas card to is Dem chair Joe Long. I'd be happy to deliver it myself.

Update: The Express Times has a brief, but accurate, account of Rosenthal's reappointment.