Over the past week, two people who I admired very much passed away. They had little in common. One was a hard drinker was completely capable of telling people to shove it when he was tired of their bullshit. The other went out of his way to be kind-hearted and forgiving to everyone, even me. They did have one thing in common. They cared.
The former is John Kachmar, who died Friday after a lengthy illness. After graduating from Notre Dame Green Pond, he served in the Marines, ended up in Vietnam and was wounded in action.
My father, a WWII vet who was wounded in action himself, never talked to me about the war or his experiences as a POW. After being released from the service, Kachmar attended Moravian and wanted to interview my father about the war. Although my Dad tried to duck the interview, Kachmar's father was a bigwig with the local Democratic party and put the heat on.
During the interview, my dad was initially evasive when asked about his war experience. But he eventually let John have it.
"Excuse me, but what the hell makes you think you know what it was like?"
"Because I was wounded myself in Vietnam."
My father talked to Kachmar after that. They actually became drinking buddies. One night, Kachmar had a tap on his door, and it was my dad with acclaimed novelist Kurt Vonnegut. That trio formed an unlikely bond while Kachmar was still a student at Moravian College.
Many people think if they wear camouflage or prance around wrapped in a flag and a bazooka at a Trump rally, that makes them patriots. Getting shot in the gut for your country is what makes you a patriot.
I eventually met John as well, mostly when he worked for former Congressman Don Ritter and was administering Lehigh County. Kachmar spent several years managing municipalities throughout the country, mostly in the South. In fact, he actually helped establish several local governments.
We became re-acquainted again when he returned to Bethlehem and took on Willie Reynolds in the Bethlehem Mayoral race.
The latter is Deacon Anthony Koury.
If you attended Notre Dame Green Pond athletic contests at any point in the past century, you undoubtedly saw him. He worked there for 43 years.
During his time with the Crusaders, Koury did it all. He was a gym and social studies teacher, traffic director and maintenance supervisor. He was also the school's athletic director. In that role, he was able to persuade Alberell Electric to contribute outdoor lighting for football games. He sweet-talked Young Volkswagon into building a scoreboard. He also lobbied for and finally succeeded in getting Notre Dame into a league. But the accomplishment of which he is proud is convincing the PIAA to allow small schools to join forces for a team sports. As a result, Notre Dame became the beneficiary of gifted football players from Moravian Academy. And Moravian Academy added some Notre Dame girls to its field hockey teams.
I got to know him when he worked as a tipstaff. We were frequent lunch companions. In the years I knew him, I never once heard him say a negative thing about anyone. He would fail as a blogger. But as a human being, he excelled.
John had been moved into hospice just recently. He grew up in my northeast Bethlehem neighborhood, joined the USMC, received 2 Purple Hearts in Vietnam, attended Moravian College, and graduated with me. He was honorable, knew government inside out, and his governmental experience in Bethlehem's city government would have been a welcome change from the amateurs Bethlehem tends to elect.
ReplyDeleteHis younger brother and I reconnected a number of years back and his sister lives out of state. I'm pretty sure that his mother is still living. His late father was the City's tax collector when I was hired to work in Bethlehem's city government in 1977. And he leaves behind his partner. They were one of the many middle class families that made up our area of Bethlehem in the 1960's and 70's.
We'd meet for breakfast or lunch on occasion and talk government and life. I considered him a friend.
I will miss John very much.
John extended a lifeline to my husband (also a Viet Nam vet) when he desperately needed it. Rest in peace John. Maybe you two are rehashing much and laughing over the REMFs.
ReplyDeleteYour view of patriotism is very short sighted, misinformed and an insult to every veteran both alive and dead. Getting shot in the gut is not the only qualification.
ReplyDeleteI am a retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant. I served my country for 20 years. I wore dog tags. I have a DD Form 214. I walked the walk, and my sacred oath never ends.
Do tears flow from your eyes when the National Anthem or Taps are played? Do you even stand up and put your hand on your heart or salute? Did you even serve?
“Many people think if they wear camouflage or prance around wrapped in a flag and a bazooka, that makes them patriots. Getting shot in the gut for your country is what makes you a patriot.”
ReplyDeleteI have to assume you didn’t mean that getting shot in the gut is the only thing that makes you a patriot?
"Do tears flow from your eyes when the National Anthem or Taps are played? Do you even stand up and put your hand on your heart or salute? Did you even serve?"
ReplyDeleteGive me a fuckin' break. First of all, you need to learn how to read. I never said that getting shout in the gut was the only way to demonstrate that you are a patriot. What I said is that getting shot in the gut for your country demonstrates patriotism, a lot more than wrapping yourself in a flag or prancing around in cammies, and I was referring to doing it at goofy Trump rallies.
And no, tears do not well in my eyes when the National Anthem or Taps are played. No I do not always stand up and put my hand on my heart and salute. Those are often nothing more than signs of hypocrisy, just like those who are ostentatious about their religion. Yes, I served. I was a terrible soldier. I was never shot in the gut, Neither, apparently, were you.
"I have to assume you didn’t mean that getting shot in the gut is the only thing that makes you a patriot?"
ReplyDeleteOf course not.
It is amazing that an entry such as this one turned into an I-am-more-patriotic-than-you drivel. I saw John about five months ago and he had just been released from the hospital. You could tell he was worn, but he still had spirit, energy, and advice for making our community better. Funny, when I read the quote from Willie in Tony’s piece in The MC, I noted his hypocrisy. Few are more partisan than Willie and his Council. John (and Dana, too) would have done much for our city, but the voters don’t seem to research candidates these days. Shame.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am with Bernie. There are way too many chuckleheads with Trump flags flying from their houses and cars who think they are patriots. No, a patriot is a person who can recognize when the country they supposedly love is in jeopardy of being handed off to an unhinged psychopath. Too bad those draped in the flags and going to rallies don’t see they are being used by a man who has only ever wanted what is best for himself.
A certain faction of people are always trying to claim the high ground with patriotism. I guess they're oblivious to the saying
DeleteI sing the loudest in church so jesus loves me more than you.
If you want to avoid postings about what it means to be a patriot based on your original comments, try doing a better job of stating your position!
ReplyDeleteThe TDS is really ramping up Bernie, maybe it’s time to see someone before it takes over everything.
ReplyDeleteBernie, thank you so much for your tribute to the late Deacon Koury.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone ever needs a template for a life well lived, Deacon Koury's life is that model. It revolved around his family, Our Lady of Lebanon Church, and the students of Notre Dame HS. He gave selflessly to all three. Not only did he provide devoted support to his immediate family, including to his wife Cheffie through all of her medical challenges, he also steadfastly honored his late brother Michael Koury Sr.'s dying instruction to take care of his brother's children, Michael and Cathy. He did so with the same dedication and faith that he brought to all of his endeavors.
I was blessed to know Deacon Koury for many years and to be with him as he passed from this life to be with his God, whom he served so well for the benefit of so many. In the past few months, as he was battling cancer, he often mentioned his favorite quote from Saint Francis of Assisi: "Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing which you have received - only what you have given." By that measure, Deacon Anthoy had quite alot to take with him.
May Deacon Anthony rest in a well earned peace.