I was on the phone with Hokie Joe yesterday and could hear some banging in the background.
"What's that noise?"
"It's my wife. Health officials say we have to practice social distancing, so I locked her out."
Today's one-liner: "The shortest way to the distinguishing excellence of any writer is through his hostile critics." Richard LeGallienne
Local Government TV
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Monday, March 23, 2020
36 comments:
You own views are appreciated, especially if they differ from mine. But remember, commenting is a privilege, not a right. I will delete personal attacks or off-topic remarks at my discretion. Comments that play into the tribalism that has consumed this nation will be declined. So will comments alleging voter fraud unless backed up by concrete evidence. If you attack someone personally, I expect you to identify yourself. I will delete criticisms of my comment policy, vulgarities, cut-and-paste jobs from other sources and any suggestion of violence towards anyone. I will also delete sweeping generalizations about mainstream parties or ideologies, i.e. identity politics. My decisions on these matters are made on a case by case basis, and may be affected by my mood that day, my access to the blog at the time the comment was made or other information that isn’t readily apparent.
Sounds like an action plan to me.
ReplyDeleteSmartest move I've seen in a long time. That is even better than the couch.
ReplyDeleteI hope my wife does that to me then I can accuse her of spousal abuse, call the police then kick her the fuck out of the house for good!
ReplyDeleteIt's always great to talk abou0t abusing wives, isn't it? Good times!
ReplyDeleteI am very sure it is the husband that is being abused because of his obligation to be sexually abused and overworked while that obligation is taking place. Why is it that only the wife is the one being abused when she is truly in fact the abused in all too many cases.
ReplyDeleteCheck your meds, dear.
ReplyDeleteEvery man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife.
ReplyDeleteSadly, bigamy is against the law.
Ha ha ha. I guess you're the Entire Man Package then.
ReplyDeleteI've evacuated to an isolated section of my compound that contains bathroom facilities, tv, a beer fridge and my tools. I'm not sure if she's even home at this point. We've never been happier.
ReplyDeleteWe'll see what happens when the beer runs out.
ReplyDeleteAll men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is that after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.
ReplyDeleteYou boys sure all sound like real catches.
ReplyDeleteSo what do you say to your family members who are really scared right now? That's a nasty question... ASSHOLE!
ReplyDeleteI really don't see how that's going to comfort anyone. Of course, husbands do like scatological references.
ReplyDeleteWives may be able to fake orgasms--but then, they have to, don't they?
ReplyDeleteMen, on the other hand, can fake entire relationships.
Wheeeeeeeee!
Wife: "Wanna change positions tonight?"
ReplyDeleteHusband: "You bet!"
Wife: "OK, so you do the dishes and floors while I watch TV."
I make women scream every time we have sex.
ReplyDeleteI wipe my ugly on their curtains.
Woman posts ad: "Husband wanted."
ReplyDelete100 replies: "You can have mine."
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
ReplyDelete100 husbands: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteI make women scream every time we have sex.
I wipe my ugly on their curtains.
March 23, 2020 at 12:02 PM
I'm sure they do scream. I'm also sure that they need a lot of curtains to get ride of your ugly.
Men: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.
ReplyDeleteLol.
ReplyDeleteIt's your dream thread, Bernie. No one's even mentioned you-know-what.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDelete100 husbands: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
March 23, 2020 at 12:38 PM
I hope you're having affairs with only five or six at a time.
Bernie, this is a really ugly thread to women. I hope you might consider cutting it off now.
ReplyDeleteHelene
One of the guys forced to stay home said he met this woman the other day he hasn't seen in a while. She said, "I'm your wife." He said, "She seems like a nice person."
ReplyDeleteSon: "Mom, how much does it cost to marry?"
ReplyDeleteMother: "I don't know, I'm stall paying."
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So an employee at a postal facility in Bethlehem township tests positive for the corona virus yet the statement issued by them: “We believe the risk is low for employees who work at the Lehigh Valley P&DC but we will keep our employees apprised as new information and guidance becomes available,” - WTF, did that come from the white house? You know, just a hoax and all...
ReplyDeleteThat's the worst joke I ever heard.
ReplyDeleteWomen: "My husband's an angel."
Other woman: "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
Wheeeeeeeeee!
I’m female, Helene, and didn’t find them to be offensive. The new norm seems to be taking offense first, laughter later.
ReplyDeleteYou Helene are a ray of sunshine on a dreary day in the SWAMP!
ReplyDeleteDo you know a "Hokie" is a neutered turkey? How do you castrate a turkey?
ReplyDeleteNow I get it. Hokie Joe is a castrated turkey. At least he will be castrated if his wife reads this Blog.
Husband: "Why are you reading our marriage certificate?"
ReplyDeleteWife: "I'm looking for an expiration date."
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteDo you know a "Hokie" is a neutered turkey? How do you castrate a turkey?
Now I get it. Hokie Joe is a castrated turkey. At least he will be castrated if his wife reads this Blog.
March 23, 2020 at 4:59 PM
Turkeys don't have testicles. They let Mitch McConnell do all their negotiating.
ReplyDeleteWheeeee!: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee.
Man: If you were my wife, I'd poison it myself.
Man answers the door and it's a cop.
ReplyDeleteCop: Sir, I'm here to tell you it looks like your wife was hit by a bus.
Man: I know, but she really does have a great personality.