Mr. Sulu!
Given what's going on, I thought it's time for me to come out and tell you my own sad story.
When I was in fourth grade, I became an altar boy, and remained one into high school. Now you all know what happens to altar boys and why so many of them sing soprano. But in all my years, no priest ever gave me a second look. Not even when I'd bend over to get the cruets.
It's been that way my entire life. While everyone around me was going to space mountain, I've been untouched. I have never been harassed. Even when I forget to zip up and walk around for an entire day with the garage door open, no one says a word.
I know why. My good looks and charming personality intimidate men and women alike.
It's not easy being handsome. Eventually, I went cRaZy and became a bottom-feeding blogger.
I have heard you actually were considered a very good looking man back in the day.
ReplyDeleteT. M. apparently still thinks you are. Further proof she's nutz. ;)
Damn. That day must have been waaaayyy back when. Actually, Bernie...you're a pretty hot, cRAZy, bottom feeder blogger.
ReplyDeleteBernie has always had a reputation as "power" bottom feeding blogger in the tight knit local BDSM community, a hike up Bernie's bareback mountains will leave a man weak in his knees!
ReplyDeleteIs this an appropriate subject to joke about? This is not a sense of humor it is minimizing sexual assault and pedophilia. There is no humor here only sadness.
ReplyDeleteWhat of the victims?
Big Bear said..
ReplyDeleteTwink or bear it doesn't matter, the only expert is the Mediterranean manslab. His stay with the state has given him insight into power bottom techniques only dreamed of by elderly alter boys. He is best known as a lean power top and has a reputation in the weight rooms as the King of thrusts.
Making light of sexual assault by priests is not your best attempt at humor. Those victims are scarred for life.
ReplyDelete2:41. It’s comedy. We can’t have comedy now? Come on
ReplyDeleteWhen I was an altar boy I as taken to a "health club" by a priest for a steam. Nothing happened but the same priest, I later learned, was then, or was later, molesting a pal of mine who lived down the street from me and had also started to groom a pal of mine who lived behind me. We were all Catholic school altar boys and thus targets of this man. Boys like us on the eve of adolescence whose primary thoughts revolved around sandlot baseball games have no real awareness to protect themselves from these monsters, making this form of prey so very horrible, and sorry Bernie, nothing to joke about.
ReplyDelete"It’s comedy. We can’t have comedy now? Come on"
ReplyDeleteYou may laugh at whatever you like. Howard Stern has made a career of this kind of humor. It's not very funny when you're a victim and the Church played a shell game in hiding predators among us.
Bernie, from what I have redd you seem to be in a class of not depriving your public and gender specifics is not even givin a second thought! If I had been mauled by the pig lady like you, that would have trumatized even the lowest of bòttom feeding blogger not to mention that slab of bacon.
ReplyDeleteThey prefer young innocent ones only and apparently, you were around the block too early, not pure, already dirty.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy dark humor like the rest of you, but given the breadth of recent victims having the courage to come forward and tell their story this post seems really insensitive. I'm sure you could have found plenty of other self-deprecating pieces to write--you've got a lot to work with.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually partly my point. I am astonished that so many people are finding the "courage" to claim they were abused decades ago. I am very leery when people wait decades to make accusations like these. I smell a lot of bullshit burgers, but everyone is just lapping it up.
ReplyDeleteRE: Bernie 10:40 comment. It seems that you are unable to sympathize with the fear, shame, confusion and self-blame that would come to a child-victim of sexual violence. It could take years of therapy to even be able to admit what had occurred. Your short-sightedness is shocking--especially coming from a recovering person.
ReplyDelete"It seems that everyone has been subjected to horrifying sexual abuse in their teens or early twenties."
ReplyDeleteActually, what it seems like is our society has a very pervasive sexual assault problem. One of the reasons this problem has not been effectively dealt with is our tendency to "laugh it off" or make light of what is really a very serious and sad problem. Victims, more often that not, fail to come forward in a timely manner simply because of the attitude represented in this very surprising and disappointing blog post.
The #metoo movement has made it acceptable to finally reveal past assaults that have haunted victims for many years. For the first time in my own memory, men & women are coming forward with their stories, and for that I very much admire them. Because of our society's tendency to make light of these horror stories, people need a lot of guts to reveal the predators in our midst.
As the mother of a son and a daughter, I am big believer in the Innocent Until Proven Guilty concept - in other words, you can't just totally believe every victim's account at face value. Evidence is needed before a life should be destroyed by would could be, theoretically, lies. However, when multiple victims come forward telling the SAME story about the SAME predator, and a pattern is revealed even years later, then it is (in my mind) safe to assume that these victims are collectively sharing accurate and real histories about criminals who have (so far) gone unpunished. In no way did these victims enjoy their torture, as your blog post seems to suggest. It is not flattering to be targeted by a pedophile or a rapist or sexual predator. Victims didn't earn their crimes, by either their actions or their "attractiveness" - they were simply targeted by sick criminals who have, up until now, enjoyed the tacit protection of a society that really could not give a shit.
I do not personally have a #metoo story. I have been damned lucky. I see now that so many of my close friends and family didn't escape their youth unscathed, and I thank the gods for my good fortune. I admire those who have finally found the courage to speak out about past horrors. You're lucky, Bernie. But just because you dodged a bullet, it doesn't mean the same bullets didn't strike someone else.
Bernie, young people especially women are shamed. They are usually preys don by a more powerful person. Someone may be whispering the old, "why wait so long?, crap in your ear but that is wrong. Everyone has there right to their defense and not all stories may be true. However, many people learned to just hide it or let it go. Years of anguish and therapy may pass before they let it out. Don't be an asshoile.
ReplyDeleteThere are prey and there are predators and they tend to have a sense about one another.
ReplyDeleteRedd the pig lady did not assault Golem, sadly he was shown the door after spending a prolonged period in the crapper only to exit wearing the emperor's finest clothes.
ReplyDeleteOdd, an entire post and comment thread about sexual predators and not a single mention of the name Bill Clinton.
ReplyDeleteThis is not a funny topic.
ReplyDeleteWhy not joke about the KKK.
"Why not joke about the KKK."
ReplyDeleteSo tell me you don't think this is funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB1E0oAAc-w
Director of Corrections allegedly sexually harasses the Captain = Captain gets fired
ReplyDeleteDeputy Warden allegedly sexually harasses/assaults a classification employee = classification employee gets fired
I sense a startling pattern!
Bill Clinton has a lifetime pass because he is, of course, a Democrat rock star.
ReplyDeleteMonkey Momma, thank you for a beautifully written comment.
ReplyDeleteI understand that sexual abuse and harassment is quite real. I do not understand the sudden deluge of victim complaints, most of them coming decades after the supposedly offensive conduct. It makes the motives of the accuser suspect. This is unacceptable to me.inreject the notion that sexual abuse or even harassment is prevalent. It certainly happens, but the sheer volume of recent complaints about so many people is simply unbelievable. And that's another problem. In most cases, there is zero proof. None. Over time, the human mind remembers things, but not exactly. The term is called confabulation. A person can believe he or she is being truthful, but is only your ten per cent accurate. As someone who has himself been victimized by these false accusations, I thought a post demonstrating their absurdity was warranted.
ReplyDeleteBernie, I think you value honest discourse. Your comments are emblematic of the problem itself “I reject the notion that sexual abuse or even harassment is prevalent.” Ask yourself why. Is it because you were victimized by false accusations? You clearly understand that having been a victim of false accusations does not mean is isn’t painfully prevalent. Part of the reason sexual harassmant continues to be a problem, the reason why it continues to happen, is exactly because it is behavior that occurs away from cameras, other people, or any way to meaningfully ‘prove’ that it happened. If it was easy to prove then the perpetrators would not do it! The sudden deluge means that people who have for years, decades, nursed their own pain and memories in the dark, finally feel like there is a platform to share their experience and humiliation without people like you coming down on them and saying “there is no proof!” If the coach at Penn State had not caught Sandusky in the shower with those boys, would the problems not have happened because the boys could not ‘prove it’? If those boys came forward decades later and said “ yes, this horrible, life-changing thing happened to me”, some who even considered killing themselves because of the pain, would they not have been listened to because there was no proof, or not listened to because too many years had lapsed? Patterns emerge, there is strength in patterns, but at the end of the day this is a problem that occurs in the dark, and to dismiss the current wave of allegations as ‘simply unbelievable’ shows a poor understanding of this very real problem.
ReplyDeleteProof?!?
ReplyDeleteWe don't need no stinkin' proof.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_case
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_preschool_trial
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tawana_Brawley_rape_allegations
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_witch_trials
" You clearly understand that having been a victim of false accusations does not mean is isn’t painfully prevalent."
ReplyDeleteBut it also does not mean that it is. It certainly is a fact in India, where the number of rape cases and offensive touchings are undeniable. But the evidence here in this country is missing. The links above are merely anecdotal and are proof of nothing. I agree about Sandusky bc his accusers faced him in a courtroom and the jury believed them beyond a reasonable doubt. But I have real problems believing anyone who makes accusations years after he fact. This is especially so when the accused is someone who is prominent and has something to lose. Also, as a physician, you are aware that our brains confabulate the past. We do not remember things exactly as they happened. I would agree when the same person has multiple accusers, as was the case with Sandusky, the accusations become more credible to me.
Though this is off topic, I want to thank you for running for City Council. people like you are very rare in local government and we were blessed by you and your interest. I hope you continue.
ReplyDeleteBernie
ReplyDeleteI found it very interesting that you brought up this subject. I too was an alter boy from age 7 to 14. I also was the kid that lived only 3 blocks from the church so I served mass almost every morning before school. I won't mention his name but the priest at the church rewarded me by taking me to ball games, out to eat, swimming at Willow Park pool and a ton of other places. He was by far a better father figure to me than my own father. He never laid a hand on me and I stayed in contact with him until he passed away a couple of years ago. When I get together with friends I grew up with they still get on me about my relationship with the priest. I know there is abuse out there but I had to share this story to say there are also good people out there and this priest was a big part of my life.