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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

King Allentown Announces Write-In Bid

Saying "I could really use that $6,000," King Allentown has announced his bid as a write-in candidate for City Council. He's actually running for all three seats, arguing he can hold them all simultaneously and collect $18,000. Personally, I think he should hold out for the AG seat, but that's me. The "full time sex machine," who already spends half of his day signing autographs, is doing a candidate Meet 'n Greet tonight at Stooges.

He's apparently also waging a write-in campaign for school board, dog catcher, back scratcher, candle stick maker and Mayor.

You may have spotted him standing in welfare lines or at one of the food banks (his record is three food banks in one day), after which he sells the food at eBay.

He was also a successful litigant on Judge Judy, where he won $1,625.

He  also is reportedly considering a daycare for his numerous illegitimate children.
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10 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 1:38 AM

    Nothing says, We are open to public comment like having a meeting at Saucon Valley Country Club.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 4:13 AM

    Not bad but he is no Jim Gregory. The Mediterranean manslab also known as the human tripod has nothing to fear from this imposter.

    Dick Hertz

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 4:36 AM

    Morning Call Nov 4, 2015

    ALLENTOWN SENDS PALOWSKI TICKET BACK TO CITY HALL

    Allentownians showed their kind and forgiving nature by returning the Palowski ticket to City Hall. One observer and voter noted, "In spite of doing nothing and being rubber stamps for the Mayor, these incumbents are very nice people. Maybe the next 4 years they can rise above the corruption and start doing the work we elect them to do!

    GET OUT AND VOTE FOR CHANGE OR NOTHING WILL CHANGE

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    I hope the line about selling food pantry food on ebay was 100% humor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. King Allentown JuniorOctober 28, 2015 at 9:35 AM

    You neglected to mention King Allentown, Jr as running mate. I am also on the write in ticket. But thank you for the endorsement, Bernie O'Hare journalist extraordinaire. When we are elected we will abolish the Morning Call and make Lehigh Valley Ramblings the news source of record.

    ReplyDelete
  6. King Allentown, JrOctober 28, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    We welcome all displaced politicos to come over to our newly formed political comsultant agency, "Dangle Sauce Strategies" For a modest fee we will manage you to a sure win. Our time-tested methods for success include handing out customer made black and white flyers we photocopy at career link, Hand painted thrift store T-shirts with your face on the front, and personal appearances by both King Allentown and King Allentown, Jr on your behalf.
    -King Jr

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 12:38 PM

    Bernie,
    you forgot the butcher, the baker and in the case of mayberry there are many hats that cover circus ACTors under allentowns downtown bigtop¿!($
    redd
    patent pending

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    By the way, it is official via press release - Sara Hailstone is leaving Allentown.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 3:07 PM

    Why isn't She gone today.She can create lots of mischief till January

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousOctober 28, 2015 at 3:09 PM

    King Jr., stop trying to ride the Kings popularity. You are a wannabe, not the real thing.

    ReplyDelete

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