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Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Cupcake Trachta Provides Security at NorCo News Conference

The safety and security Northampton County Executive John Brown was in good hands yesterday morning. He was at a news conference in Nazareth to announce a new gazillion dollar initiative for economic development in our decaying boroughs. He selected two artsy fartsy businesses, Mosaics on Main and Xpresso Cafe, from which to make his announcement. So far as I know, neither establishment has received any county money, but let's not quibble over details. They do look cool. Still, Brown had a problem. Who would protect him? After all, Nazareth is ground zero for bottom-feeding bloggers. My underground bunker is just a few feet away. Not to worry. Security was provided by none other than Nazareth's very own police chief, Cupcake Trachta.

Wearing dark sunglasses and earpiece, Cupcake stood guard outside the Mosaic store, prompting a few who passed him to wonder if he was one himself. That would change whenever he opened his mouth. His Brooklyn accent broke the eardrums of a few of the beautiful people.

When he saw me coming, he immediately hopped onto the phone to ask for back up. A part-time cop soon showed up, but even that wasn't enough. He also called in meter maid Mike Tarnok, who accused me correctly of feeding slugs into meters.

When I stopped inside the Mosaic store, I was shocked at the number of people there for the news conference. Most of them were young ladies, perhaps fresh out of college They are all on somebody's payroll, and my guess is we somehow are footing the bill for their weekly mani-pedis.

Although it seems that Brown managed to bring his entire DCED staff to this announcement, not a single member of Nazareth Borough Council was there. Nor was Mayor Carl Strye, Jr.

I did see NazarethNow's Stephanie Varone. Though she was dressed in a beautiful black dress, she's no femme fatale. In fact, she's been the spark behind so many of the new small businesses that have come into Nazareth.

Nobody acknowledged her, naturally.

After it was over, I did bump into Peg Ferraro and Glenn Geissinger, both of whom were late because they had just been searched by Cupcake Trachta.
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16 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 2:10 AM

    Geissinger and Ferraro were practicing for missing the Norco meeting on the 17th?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 5:38 AM

    Too bad he didn't tazz your cupcake azz.

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  3. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 5:58 AM

    That is because John Stoffa helped fund Varone's position.

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  4. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 6:16 AM

    It's kinda strange that Brown didn't do this in say, Bangor Borough, his hometown. The downtown of that borough needs lots of help.
    Oh yeah, i forgot, they REALLY don't like John brown there. The secret service would be needed for his protection. And Brownie would need help finding it. LOLOLOL

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  5. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 6:26 AM

    Fugetaboutit Brownie, your image is tarnished just as the toilet paper will be in a minute or two after wiping my ass...

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 6:31 AM

    you are such a hateful drama queen

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  7. Bernie O'HareJune 9, 2015 at 9:15 AM

    I have no idea who helped fund Varone's position. I have had one conversation with her in her years here, and it was about dogs. I know she tends to suck up to the powers that be in Nazareth, so would not be my favoirite person. I am saying her efforts should have been recognized.

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  8. Bernie O'HareJune 9, 2015 at 9:19 AM

    "Too bad he didn't tazz your cupcake azz."

    I'm sure he would if he could. This is a very bad guy to have in a supervisory role. His sullen presence yesterday hardly helped Nazareth look like anything but a civil rights suit magnet. If it was Varone's idea to have him there, that was stupid.

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  9. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 9:38 AM

    Meanwhile, in Bushkill Township, dog shit porch delivery was going unmonitored on Cupcake's block.

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  10. Bernie O'HareJune 9, 2015 at 9:41 AM

    Uh oh.

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  11. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    Brown wouldn't dare even come to downtown Bangor..... he is an embarrassment.. and the cops for sure wouldn't supply him security-

    Keep BROWNSTAIN in southern Norco.... when even the slate belt doe4snt want you... you know your at the bottom of the muck

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  12. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    Brownstain, Brownstain, Brownstain .....blah, blah, blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. The sore loser is a boring broken record. Try doing some actual work for your salary.

    Sincerely,

    Shoo-in NorCo Exec John Callahan - not

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  13. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    As the Democrats rise soon they will wipe the Republicans off the bottom of their shoes like dog poop.... Brown will be that.. a "Brownstain" on the political sidewalk

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  14. AnonymousJune 9, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    What a waste of taxpayer money to have the entire bloated DCED staff at this announcement. Don't they have anything better to do with their time? It was more important to have local officials, including the Chamber at this event. But instead of planning the event properly, and inviting the proper guests, voice-over artist Donaher just dragged her staff there to serve as props. Let's see if this spectacle results in the FIRST JOB created by the county's clueless DCED department.

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  15. AnonymousJune 10, 2015 at 2:12 PM

    Chief Trachta is a respected police chief who should be there. You are an overweight cupcake ass who thinks he has a position of authority. Everyone is waiting for Katelyn O'Hare.

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  16. Bernie O'HareJune 10, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Trachta is a police chief, but is far from respected. Laughing stock would be more approprite. The placew he needed to be today was at a meeting of the police chief association, but he skipped as usual.

    By the way, who cares whether someone is transgender?

    ReplyDelete

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