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Friday, November 22, 2013

Thanksgiving Turkey Crosses Obama's Red Line

President Obama is growing increasingly irate at a Thanksgiving Turkey on the White House grounds, and has warned its noisy antics have crossed the red line. So he plans to convene a joint session of Congress to authorize a military strike. In the meantime, Russian Badass Vladimir Putin is claiming he would eat the turkey live, feathers and all.

22 comments:

  1. Hearing this, Congressional Republicans have pledged to block and repeal and action the president takes regarding the turkey.

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  2. The Prez is too dumb to realize he's the turkey. Putin's got this figured out.

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  3. Turns out he hadn't got a good look at the turkey. When someone showed him a picture of it, he said "That could have been my son".

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  4. Dave Firebird Pro SeNovember 22, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. Please don't act like her. The best thing you could do right now is allow me to make my case next month, without giving her ammunition.

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. I have deleted an off topic comment from Mezzacappa's Blog Mentor.

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  8. Fuck that Putin, he don't know shit!

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  9. Republicans infuriated by belief the Turkey has in formation on the Presidents birth in Kenya and Muslim upbringing have subpoenaed it. Republican leaders fear the President will not pardon the turkey and it will be eaten on Thanksgiving before it can testify as the real truth behind the President's birth/religion conspiracy.

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  10. The turkey's been on Obama's secret kill list for three years. He's going to wait until it's safely delivered to the petting zoo. Then, he'll drone the shit out of it and deny responsibility for the two dozen or so civilians who get killed in the strike. As the civilians have likely lost their health insurance, they're better off dead, anyway.

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  11. If Obama and his die have their way we will lose all of the holidays and traditions we enjoy and they will be replaced by the Muslim day of prayer and so on.... Is there anything these liberals can do that would upset their constituents enough to turn them against this party? They lead by emotion and the activist are happy about that. What the hell are we allowing those in high places to do to this country and our culture???? Eventually even the liberals will disagree with each other and maybe that will wake them up. This president and his surrounding libs are not nice people. Sure the turkey is at risk or shall I say your turkey dinner. It's too American....

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  12. The turkey is black so it was spared. Word on the street is it is also Muslim.

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  13. In --- We trust!--- bless America.

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  14. Hokie Joe says;
    You crazy bastards just don't get it. If O'bama killed all the turkeys, we wouldn't have anyone representing us in Congress. The whole Country would shut down. Also, think about this, Turkeys are dumb and their actions in Congress prove it. What can you expect from an animal that eats with its pecker? It has a miniature brain for a critter its size, it comes with its own set of spurs, and has a beard that grows out of the middle of its chest. In captivity it will eat its own shit. Something our congressional turkeys quickly learn to avoid. So don't blame O'bama for the Turkey situation, It is been there long befor he became the president.

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  15. Tea party advocates learned that the Turkey was fed with Government subsidized grain. They argued we should not be feeding people with poultry that may have be supported with borrowed money from China. Let the people starve, one shouted. Instead, they feasted on Scrapple.

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  16. Walking failure Rep Darrell Issa learned that the real Turkey was actually granted a pardon. He demanded Congressional hearings and insisted on making a public spectacle of a hazing of Deputy Secretary of Agricultural Secretary Krysta Harden. When he learned that she was not a potential candidate for President, he demanded Hillary Clinton be called to testify.

    Senator Lindsey Graham made remarks in the Capitol Rotunda stating his intentions to hold up the Farm Bill. He explained, “Our goal is to object to anything this President does, and that’s no Turkey.”

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  17. When called to testify in front of Issa's committee, Secretary Clinton shrieked at the top of her lungs "WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!?!?!".

    Issa said, "thank you Secretary Clinton, but we are discussing turkeys here, and for some reason, you are imitating a squawking chicken".

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  18. I firmly believe that every loss of life is tragic, Clinton replied Let's not forget the 299 American and French servicemen that were killed in Beirut 30 years ago. Your beloved Ronald Reagan insisted the barracks was adequately secure then.

    In regards to pardoning the Turkey. Let's not forget the 11 convicted conspirators for Reagans Iran Contra scandal. G H Bush pardoned the convicted. Why your disdain for the Turkey?

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  19. Can't win today's debate, so you have to argue from 30 years ago?

    What next, Lincoln's mistakes?

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  20. no 11:21, it is called history and it lends perspective to thinking men. That is something you would not understand.

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  21. So your historical perspective only involves mistakes made by Republicans?

    Some perspective...and so typical of "smart" people.

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