Local Government TV

▼

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Ron Angle Runs Out of Bullshit

People want to know why I wasn't at Ron Angle's Upper Mount Bethel estate for the anti-shit protest outside his property yesterday. Even the Emperor himself called and asked me to come up and help him taunt them. But I was busy. Yesterday was Wednesday, and that's the day I spend evicting widows and orphans from Angle's properties. I admit I would have enjoyed making catcalls and mooning the shit haters. But humiliating old ladies and orphans is just too much fun.

I did catch the Channel 69 news account, and was shocked to learn that Angle has run out of bullshit. I thought he had an endless supply.

Ron plans to use biosolids, i.e. human shit, to fertilize his farmlands.

According to Penn State research, it's safe. All 50 states allow it. In fact, Angle tells me one of his friends stopped by for a shit sandwich on his way to work.

In any event, something like this is the perfect way for him to re-enter the political realm. If the protesters would have just waited a day, they could have caught him in his General Patton uniform, which was delivered by UPS later that day.
at

12 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 12:02 AM

    Never in human history has a story and a man intersected and coincided so perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LighthouseNovember 21, 2013 at 12:18 AM

    If not mistaken, if the local governing body were to take up the protesters' cause, he would be protected under PA's A.C.R.E. law.

    I can think of examples in our community when neighbors have complained of the odors of working farms. Farmers are protected, and with bio-solids being allowed in PA, there really is no leg for the protesters to stand on outside the court of public opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bernie O'HareNovember 21, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    "Never in human history has a story and a man intersected and coincided so perfectly."

    Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 1:13 AM

    "Ron plans to use biosolids, i.e. human shit, to fertilize his farmlands"

    So in other words, he plans on standing in the field and talking to the soil. That might work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 6:16 AM

    Angle and biosolids = perfect casting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Ron Angle + biosolids, the soil never had a chance.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 2:29 PM

    Point of clarification:

    As shit is widely known to roll or flow downhill, depending upon its consistency, is Ron's property up or down hill from these defecation detractors and excrement extremists?

    Also, as its widely known that humans like to smell their own brand, will this be local dooty? If it passes the sniff test, the doot is moot.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousNovember 21, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    "Shit happens", in the case of Ron Angle that has always been the case. Might as well make it official.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Peter J.CochranNovember 22, 2013 at 8:37 AM

    Bernie,Maybe----- Ron is now into psychological warfare or PsyOps ! This may be how you keep open space. You paint the soil with this stuff and the perspective viewers don't stay long in one area thinking about skinning people on cardboard houses.Good Morning! Could he be that clever?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 22, 2013 at 3:16 PM

    No!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 23, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Oh he is as clever as they come.....don't put anything past him....

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousNovember 23, 2013 at 3:32 PM

    If clever means the same as devious, I agree.

    ReplyDelete

You own views are appreciated, especially if they differ from mine. But remember, commenting is a privilege, not a right. I will delete personal attacks or off-topic remarks at my discretion. Comments that play into the tribalism that has consumed this nation will be declined. So will comments alleging voter fraud unless backed up by concrete evidence. If you attack someone personally, I expect you to identify yourself. I will delete criticisms of my comment policy, vulgarities, cut-and-paste jobs from other sources and any suggestion of violence towards anyone. I will also delete sweeping generalizations about mainstream parties or ideologies, i.e. identity politics. My decisions on these matters are made on a case by case basis, and may be affected by my mood that day, my access to the blog at the time the comment was made or other information that isn’t readily apparent.