GOP: It's Where The Girls Are

Joe Kelly, Jack Spirk and Willie Reynolds, despite being ardent Democrats heavily involved in the John Callahan Exec campaign, were at Hotel Bethlehem when Callahan opponent John Brown had his fundraiser there on Monday night. They were at the bar, likely sipping iced tea. You might think they were there to spy on Brown, and they might tell you that themselves. But I know why they were really there.

Eye candy.

Lucy Lennon, who is running Brown's campaign, has posted pictures from the event. I noticed something odd. Almost all the women are totally hot, while the men are so frickin' ugly that Hotel Bethlehem had to turn off their surveillance cameras.

Here's a perfect example.

Lucy Lennon is simply gorgeous, while Ron Angle looks like he's auditioning for "Gorillas in the Mist".

Shall I go on?

OK, there's this:

Can I be held in contempt for saying a judge is hot? She's not a judge yet, so I'm safe.

Then there's this:

Is it me or does Hayden Phillips (on the left) look like a bullet head? He is a Marine, and I imagine if an artillery unit ran out of rounds, they could use his noggin. The dude in the middle, who is at every GOP and tea party event, is about 18' tall, and all he ever says is "Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Irishmen." Then, on the right, there's the pen protector club. They're all still reading the Harry Potter series.

So if you want a shot with something like this ...

... I guess you have to go to one of these fundraisers. I would recommend wearing a Roman collar and pretending you're gay. Women love to reform guys.

At least that's what I'm told.

Aren't Democratic women hot, too? Of course they are, but they're all swooning over John Callahan, Don Cunningham, Sal Panto, and ... well that's about it.

Your odds are better with the GOP. Just walk up to a woman and say "Don't tread on me" or something.

Putty in your hands.

Blogger's Note: I know most of the men I insulted in this post. I can tell you I was hacked and you're really very pretty. Honest.