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Friday, July 13, 2012

Team Ireland Nearly Ejected From Bethlehem Planning Comm'n

Team Ireland is on the road again. But I get no respect.

Yesterday, I rode my BUV (bike utility vehicle) all the way from Easton to Bethlehem to cover a Planning Commission meeting, making it with one minute to spare. That's dedication. I braved the heat, the traffic, the dust of a bike path, and several 50,000' hills, just to cover that meeting.

I was dressed, appropriately in shorts and  my bright green Team Ireland Jersey. That way,  I would not get plastered by some driver who might mistake me for a bottom-feeding blogger. Besides, that's how people in Bethlehem dress. They wear berets and kilts and shit like that.

In Easton, it's African MuMus from the King of Ga. In Bethlehem, it's utilikilts and berets.

So Jim Fiorentino, who chairs the Planning Commission, spots me. Instead of complimenting me for saving the planet, as he should, he wants to know where my frickin' pants are. Then he starts raggin' on me about my very stylish Jersey, claiming he's going to throw me out.

"I would think you'd at least have an appropriate shirt," he huffed.

And that bastard had no socks! Just shoes. Who the hell walks around with no socks, anyway? Is that supposed to be cool?

I ignored him and walked into some cramped meeting room, where there were about 1,000 people. We had to use that room because the Bethlehem Authority was using the Town Hall for a meeting with about three people.

Finally, I was able to plop my ass down.

"You're sitting in my seat!" roared developer Ed Novak, and so I was. I apparently sat right on his pens and some were still sticking in my ass. Good ones, too. Mont Blanc. Didn't even feel them.

No problem. I got up and sat in a seat on the other side of the room.

"You're sitting in my seat!" roared planning maven Al Bernotas, and so I was. I apparently sat on a few of his golf balls and tees. Al plucked them out.

While this is going on, Jim Fiorentino is saying, "I'll entertain a motion to eject Mr. O'Hare."

I was ready to sit on a windowsill when Patch editor Daryl Nerl had mercy on me and cleared a spot for me next to him.

Fiorentino's motion failed, but it was a close vote.
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16 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 1:41 AM

    The RDA was not in city Hall today. Get your facts straight. By the way they are still trying to get the body odor stink out of the planning comm. room.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bernie O'HareJuly 13, 2012 at 2:13 AM

    Well, good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Montague TazewellJuly 13, 2012 at 5:20 AM

    DEGREE FOR MEN (and BOTTOM-FEEDING BLOGGERS): For those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

    God Bless Ireland.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    They were probably turned on by the outline of your twig and berries in those pants. Be careful, Geeting is going to stalk you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    I bet you smelled good.

    And, ugh, another old dude in biker shorts?

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    Good one Bernie!

    Seamus

    ReplyDelete
  7. Marco PantaniJuly 13, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    The way your motoring around the usada is going to open an investigation on you. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bernie O'HareJuly 13, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    "And, ugh, another old dude in biker shorts?"

    Hey, it was either that or a kilt.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    So then what happened next, Bernie? Did they actually have a meeting? What did they discuss? Were the usual micro-managers of other people's business up to their usual level of idiocy? Inquiring minds want to know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    Bernie, hoinestly you do not realize how bad you smell after biking in this heat. You come into a small room amd it really smells bad. Please try and remeber this. Someone who has been exposed to the odor.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJuly 13, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    bo don't stink - just ask angle

    ReplyDelete
  12. Bernie O'HareJuly 13, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    1:13, What happened is in the post below this one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bernie O'HareJuly 13, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    3:39, Time for your drug cocktail, Tricia.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJuly 14, 2012 at 4:02 AM

    Interesting that an alcoholic tells an ill person to take a "drug cocktail". Nice humanity there.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJuly 16, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    You have to be on drugs to think a person smells when they perspire profusely?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bernie O'HareJuly 16, 2012 at 12:19 PM

    Take your drug cocktail.

    ReplyDelete

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