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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Get Ready For Nazareth Days ... and Nights

Most of the time, Nazareth is a sleepy little town. But all that changes for three days every July, when they engage in all-night orgies, human sacrifices and fireworks. They're called Nazareth Days, and this year it will extend from July 19 to the 21st.

It begins, innocently enough, with Sidewalk Sales. Downtown merchants offer their best deals of the year at that time. Last year, I bought a Porsche for $5.


Turns out it was stolen.

The next day, here will be more sidewalk sales, but that's when the big Block Party is held, too, right outside my estate. In addition to funnel cake, turkey BBQ, roast beef sandwiches and strawberry shortcake, there will be plenty of beer.

That's also when one group, in the park, will begin work on a giant wicker man.

July 21 will be the climax of this three day event. Free swimming. Carriage rides. Trolley rides. Music. Petting zoo. Clowns. Mario Andretti’s Indy Car. Vendors from all around the Lehigh Valley.

Then at night, evening will be complete when the skies explode with the most spectacular display of fireworks that the Nazareth Community has ever seen. That's when the Wicker Man is torched, too.

Usually, it's a human sacrifice. But this year, the natives want to burn the TV at the Nazareth police station

Join us for the festivities, July 19-21st - In The Circle, On the Street and In the Boro Park.

I'll be singing autographs in my booth, which will be right next to the Wicker Man for some reason.
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4 comments:

  1. Christina GeorgiouJuly 12, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    Let me know what your schedule for "singing" autographs is. I'm fairly certain there's an audience in Easton for this. ;-)

    Oh, and love the reference to The Wicker Man. You're reminding me I'm more than past due to pull out my copy on DVD and see it again. When's that bonfire in Naz?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 12, 2012 at 2:16 PM

    If I get tired walking around, would it be possible to stop in the police station and catch up on the afternoon sporting events on TV?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 12, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    how much are your bullshit pies? I want to buy a years suppy for the norco admin and the gracedale goons

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bernie O'HareJuly 12, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    "If I get tired walking around, would it be possible to stop in the police station and catch up on the afternoon sporting events on TV?
    2:16 PM "

    Shhhhh!

    ReplyDelete

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