Humor and Class Mark Inauguration of Lehigh County Comm'rs

"Can you believe they made Ron Angle President of Northampton County Council? What could they be thinking?"

"I know, I know. That guy just thrives on controversy."

That's what I overheard one old fart saying to some other old fart last night ... in Lehigh County ... before the swearing-in ceremony for five Lehigh County Commissioners. They were both dressed very nicely, and I'm pretty sure one of them used to be Sheriff.

I was sitting in front of these geriatrics, trying hard to mind my own business as the meeting room began to fill up, but these guys were really worked up. Finally, I turned around and told them, "You know he's coming here tonight?"

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Ron Angle, the guy you've been discussing. He's outside talking to two hookers right now. He's running for Chairman, you know."

That shut the bastards up.

Having skipped out on all the swearing going on in Northampton County, I decided to attend the festivities in Lehigh County last night, where the food was much better. Before a packed house, lured by the temptations of quiche and jumbo shrimp, Lehigh County Commissioners Thomas C. Creighton III (District 1), Percy H. Dougherty (District 2), David S Jones, Sr. (District 3), Daniel K. McCarthy, Esq. (District 4) and Glenn Eckhart (District 5) were administered the oath of office.

I arrived early, and one of the first persons I saw was the Honorable William H. Platt, who was there to administer the oath. I had not seen or talked to Judge Platt for many years, way back when he was DA. But he is one man who could always scare the shit out of me, just by looking at me. His son has that effect on me, too. . Whenever either one glances in my direction, I immediately start sweating, ready to confess to anything.

Unfortunately, Platt, standing there in his black dress, saw me tormenting those old coots. Worse yet, he actually recognized me and summoned me up to him.

"Guilty, your Honorness," I stammered.

"Why are you always so nervous around me? I'm a pussy cat."

"I can't hel it. I'm a Catholic," is all I could blurt out.

Fortunately, the show was about to start, so I quickly went back to my seat.

By this time, DA Jim Martin was in the house. Now this guy, who incidentally does the caber toss in the Highland Games, does not really ever sit in these meeting rooms. He looks more like he's in a crouch, getting ready to pounce on someone and tear him apart, limb by limb. I think he was just waiting for the right signal from Platt, and he'd be bouncing me up and down Hamilton Street. The danger (to me) passed when County Executive Don Cunningham arrived and fearlessly sat right by the DA.

The show started and ended with prayers from Rev. Kevin Fruchtl from the Ebenezer UCC. Interestingly, he claimed to be there on behalf of Pennsylvania Germans, who made up most of the room.

Then the swearin' started.

Percy Dougherty raised up his left hand to take the oath, but Judge Platt nailed him. "Raise your other right hand, I'm in charge here." After the laughter, Dr. Dougherty thanked everyone, and then briefly stated his philosophy. "There's no Republican way, no Democratic way, to run a County. We're here for the people." He spoke of blending fiscal conservatism with providing human services that people need.

And so it continued, in the manner that has marked Lehigh County. Humor, blended with class.
Tom Creighton, the briefest of last night's speakers, quietly said he has a "lot to learn."

Big Glenn Eckhart, accompanied by his pretty (and short) little red-headed daughter, had to contort himself like a gymnast to recite the oath while keeping one hand on the Bible he small body was holding about a foot off the ground. He called the experience "very humbling" and pledged to be bipartisan, a promise he soon thereafter kept.

Dan McCarthy, walking up to take his oath, nervously looked for his wife, who was right behind him. "Don't worry, I'm with you," she stage-whispered, and he smiled. He spoke briefly and modestly, telling us that he would try to "do well by the people," and reminded everyone that this is the governance of Lehigh County, not the Commonwealth or United States.

Rev. David Jones, accompanied by his handsome young son and beautiful wife, really tried to keep it brief. He told us his role is to "make lives better," even though government often has the opposite effect.

They're an impressive bunch, surrounded by people who really care about them. I tend to look at elected officials rather cynically, but last night's experience cast a light on their humanity. We are lucky to have them.