Phillipsburg and Easton are located right across the river from each other, but the people in these towns have been archenemies for a gazillion years. For one thing, Pennsylvanians know that the People's Republic of New Jersey produces the worst drivers in the world. Every time one of us is cut off by some maniac, you'll hear one word."Jersey!"
Stateliners are equally convinced we Keystoners spend our evenings at the trailer park, playing dueling banjos and shooting squirrels.
Actually, at this time of year, we prefer ground hogs. They taste like chicken.
Once every year, during the Thanksgiving football game, P'burg residents are just shot on sight, especially if they park illegally. Survivors are chased back across the bridge after the game by cops with vicious dogs. Some folks just jump in the Delaware and swim for their lives. Others end up on the spit back at the trailer park. They taste like chicken.
But now P'burg has an unfair advantage. They've started reading something called books. The local library even maintains a nifty and active Book Lover's Blog. It has just recommended five "'beach reads' with a bit of an edge.
But first we Pennsylvanians must learn how to read.
Before you start a war on "Jersey drivers", take note that Philadelphia citizens were just declared the "most dangerous drivers" among cities with more than 1 million residents.
ReplyDeleteSource: here.
AJ, I'm from Pa., damn it! And we know that Jersey drivers are unsafe! We don't need no damn facts. Did you get the squirrel casserole I sent your way?
ReplyDeleteYeah and how many South Jersey suburbanites work in Philly five days a week????
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU VERY MUCH!
And not to mention the joke of alegal system for traffic citations in NJ.
Andy Rooney must be your hero...I finally understand your blog.
ReplyDeleteAt least Jersey drivers know when and how to merge...
Bernie every Jersey drive is issued a cut off Bernie Ohare game,we're just competing for points when we cut you off..it's nothing personal...
We do take advantage of all 4 way stops ...that's the cost of progress...kinda like wearing shoes and buying alcohol instead of making moonshine...Oh Yeah I want my money back for the last batch you sold me....
Everything would be boring without your blog
signed
A Fan
Spike,
ReplyDeleteThat survey was done based on Philadelphia residents, lol!
And yes, Anon 7:17, Jersey drivers are better at merging, lol! I wish people on 22 were able to merge!
Looks like PA residents will have to learn how to read AND drive! (No, not at the same time...) So much for summer vacation.
Bernie,
ReplyDeleteI got the casserole dish but the squirrel was gone!
...I finally understand your blog.
ReplyDeleteWould you please explain it to me?
ajc I read the link it did not say RESIDENTS, It said people who drive in the city.
ReplyDeleteFUCK NJ! If I could I would support Moving Gitmo to Camden. Not becaise I support such uber reich wing toruture camps. But NJ is aa big enough shit hole to be the proper home to hell.
In heaven there are left turn arrows in hell jug handles.
In Heaven the home team acknoledges where they play. In hell they claim to be from NY.
go up to I-80 in Monroe county every weekend this summer. You'll be hard pressed to find NJ drivers who don't have their head tightly stuck up their own asses.
And well only NJ could have a Gov who was nearly killed wearing no seat bel ina roll over racing to meet with Don Imus.
That can only happen in HELL!
Spike,
ReplyDeleteThe article says "Philadelphians." It also says Philly's "policyholders."
Can you be insured in Philly and not live there? Would you even want to?
And oh BTW company cars are insured in the city the company is based not where the employee/driver is as well.
ReplyDeleteNYC has bad drivers too. Notice any city by the shit hole of a state has driving issues wonder why?
Let it go, man... let it go.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be alright.
Spike,
ReplyDeleteThis blog was intended to let folks know that the P'burg Free Library has an interesting blog about books. I couched it in Pa. v. NJ terms, but that was intended as humor. Frankly, I find the animosity between these two areas to be both silly and illogical.
Chill, man.
Anon 10:30,
ReplyDeleteI repeat what I said to Spike. Chill.
I dun't no wat your talking abot, Burnie. I ken redd gud here in PA.
ReplyDelete