I'm on thin ice.Regular visitors here know I don't usually give a damn who I piss off. I've made fun of judges, county council members, Allentown mayors, party chairs, newspapers and even other bloggers. I'm a miserable bastard. Let's face it. I'll be blogging in hell and am currently storing all kinds of zingers about Satan and what he really does with that tail. I've had plenty of practice with what I see on Northampton County Council.
But don't get the wrong idea. Lots of things scare me. Circus clowns, for instance. I get very uneasy around school boards, too. But what terrifies me most are women. You see, I went to Catholic school and nuns do look an awful lot like circus clowns. Also, my sisters were once women, and they look like circus clowns, too.
I'm right to be scared, too. Yesterday, I was minding my own business when two women just beat the tar out of me in the Register of Wills. They were all worked up about my claim that their office is one of six row offices "floundering" without a Director of Court Services.
"Hey, blogger boy, what's the big idea with that cheap shot?"
Me: "What on earth do you mean? You know your office is my favorite and ---"
"Shut up, tubbo. We'll give you something to flounder about."
At this point, they starting whaling on me. I was floundering on the floor and screaming for help when a Deputy Sheriff finally came. But that little bastard just stepped over me on his way to the cafeteria as they kicked me on the floor.
"Fatso here says we're not real cops, so give him a kick for me, ladies!"
I finally darted away when two lovebirds came in for their marriage license.
Now that I've been released from the emergency room, let me tell you that my favorite row office really is the Register of Wills. It's a very professional staff, filled with the nicest people in the courthouse. It's always been that way. I was wrong to suggest this well-administered office is "floundering" without a Director of Court Services. In fact, they should all be appointed as judges or something.
And ladies, please give my wounds a chance to heal.
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You own views are appreciated, especially if they differ from mine. But remember, commenting is a privilege, not a right. I will delete personal attacks or off-topic remarks at my discretion. Comments that play into the tribalism that has consumed this nation will be declined. So will comments alleging voter fraud unless backed up by concrete evidence. If you attack someone personally, I expect you to identify yourself. I will delete criticisms of my comment policy, vulgarities, cut-and-paste jobs from other sources and any suggestion of violence towards anyone. I will also delete sweeping generalizations about mainstream parties or ideologies, i.e. identity politics. My decisions on these matters are made on a case by case basis, and may be affected by my mood that day, my access to the blog at the time the comment was made or other information that isn’t readily apparent.