Last night's lengthy meeting of Northampton County Council was worse than root canal. I've been to plenty of long meetings, and last night's was really just a shade over two hours. But most of it was devoted to a very exhaustive power point presentation of every step taken so far to replace windows at Gracedale. Every time it rains, residents and workers get soaked. Leaking windows have been a problem there for years.A year ago, a Cowan Associates engineer told Northampton County Council it would cost the county $2.7 million to fix that problem, and that it would take at least three years. They were going to install a test window - throw grenades at it and stuff like that to see how it held up - and then work away, taking breaks every winter.
A year has gone by, and boy it's been a blur of activity for those overworked engineers.
November 29, 2007 - Test window carefully installed and Rev. Mike Dowd blesses it with holy water.
November 30, 2007 to January 10, 2008 - Engineers offer prayers and a human sacrifice, which explains council member John Cusick's strange absence from last night's council meeting.
January 11, 2008: Test window sprayed with garden hose. Water seeps in through bottom. Ron Angle is asked to blow on window, and it flies right through the building, severely wounding Wayne Grube.
January 12-14, 2008: Engineers unsuccessfully scour Northampton County for virgin sacrifice. They settle on a live chicken.
January 15, 2008: Test window repaired by extremely complicated procedure known as "caulking."
January 22, 2008: Gracedale bedpans, mostly full, thrown against test window. This time, water seeps in through top and sides.
January 23, 2008 - February 4, 2008: Engineers scour Lehigh County for a virgin. Mayor Pawlowski recommends Michael Molovinsky, forgetting Molovinsky's Transylvanian heritage. No wooden stakes can be found in the LV. All have been used for development and billboards.
February 4, 2008: The complicated "caulking" procedure is repeated along top and sides of test window by international experts.
February 5, 2008: Window retested with John Stoffa tears from eye dropper, and still leaks. Engineers decide to pass the window anyway, concluding all windows leak. The hell with it!
As windows are replaced in residents' rooms, engineers warn something will have to be done about them. County officials have yet to determine whether they should be moved to the prison or just shot.
At the merciful conclusion of last night's meeting, the usually silent John Stoffa suddenly raised one of his gigantic arms in the air, nearly putting it through the ceiling. Reporters had long since deserted council chambers, and several of the spectators had committed suicide.
But Stoffa had an important announcement. Today marks the thirtieth year that council clerk Frank Flisser has served the county. Council members and executives have come and gone, but Frank has remained a steadying influence in Northampton County. He has always been accessible, hard-working and, most important of all, has the most integrity of any public servant I've ever seen.
When he retires, Frank plans to model underwear.
And the windows still leak
ReplyDeletethat was too funny.
ReplyDeleteobviously a photoshop of Frank. He wears boxers.
ReplyDeleteand he is one of the finest men i ever worked with.
It's chilly in here! I always though Frank was a thong type, at least that's my recollection.
ReplyDeleteAnd he is a great guy. One of the best.
Oh my God, Bernie. Hilarious! "Window retested with John Stoffa tears from eye dropper, and still leaks." Love it.
ReplyDeleteit is rather chilly. and thanks for the imagery of frank in a thong.
ReplyDeletei'm just gonna go bleach my eyes
Caulking is tough. Wear a helmet - and clean underwear in case you end up in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteIs this another example of Stoffa's inability to get anything done in a timely fashion ?
ReplyDeleteDoes he trade underwear with Angle.
ReplyDeleteRon rarely wears underwear.
ReplyDeleteStoffa update: there will be no tax increase as long as we don't add any new employees. Then Stoffa says but we always add new employees. So, does that mean there will be a tax increase ?
ReplyDeleteAnnon 11:24
ReplyDeleteYou are becoming familiar with Stoffaese, the ability to answer a question in such a way as to not only not answer it but cover your ass no matter what happens. Priceless skill for a pol.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for Mr. Stoffa's political skills. He is particulary adept at using his years in the making realtionships with editors at the MC and ET to advance his agenda.
ReplyDeleteHe was the Editors of both papers choice for Executive. Of course they will support whoever they think advances their power and agenda.
ReplyDeleteBernie,
ReplyDeleteI did not see you at this council meeting. I saw Billy Givens. It must be the new gigantic room.
Yo, BO. Whats the deal on these thieves voting themselves a pay increase? If it is to attract better candidates will all of them not run so better people come forward? Frankly, it is the oldest line in the book from my experience.
ReplyDeleteThe payraise was vetoed by Stoffa last year bc many employees had seen no raise for three to four years. But council, the exec and controller are all woefully underpaid. Just going for COL alone, the raise is still well under what it should be.
ReplyDeleteBO, totally disagree. I believe the Controller if going full-time deserves a better salary. The County Executive never has a loss of office seekers. If the pay is an issue we are saying the past and present executives are sub-par. I see this as the old Republican ploy that the Dem's have adopted to tempt so-called businessmen to run. My experience BS.
ReplyDeleteCounty Council in the early 90's stopped the raises. This is absolutely nonsense. This is a pure $$$grab and I will not support the yes voters and work for anyone who opposes anyone who votes for a pay raise, except for the Controller.