Local Government TV

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Pat-down Searches at Easton's K-Mart? Does K Stand for Kinky?

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingEver get searched? It happens to me all the time. Whenever I travel, I'm usually the one who's singled out for special treatment. I've been getting it at the courthouse a lot lately, too, and those guys don't even wear gloves! I can't really blame these folks. Look at my profile picture. I'd search me, too. If it makes just one judge feel a little safer, I'll happily bend over. But now there's a report that K-Mart on 25th Street in Easton (Wilson Borough) is actually searching customers when they leave the store.

I learned this hosting Angle's WGPA 1100 AM talk radio show on Monday. Angle was serving a one-day suspension for flipping off Jolly Joe Timmer, and I was activated for the day. One of my first calls was from a fellow who insisted security guards at Easton's K-Mart were physically searching customers leaving the store. Some women, who didn't like having their breasts touched, were complaining. Is KMart replacing blue light specials with red light behavior?

I figured I should check this out. It's what Angle, LVDem or Lehigh County Redneck would do. I'm almost as tough as them. So after the show, I coaxed my stubborn jeep along Freemansburg Avenue, and it coughed its way to Martha Stewart Everyday. Sure enough, a man in a blue unifom lurked at the exit, waiting to feel me up.

I approached with caution, carefully covering my family jewels with a toothpick, and decided to confront the perv.

"Hey, buddy."

"Why hello there, sailor!"

"Do you search people leaving this store."

"Not unless you ask, big boy." (Wink wink).

I was getting nowhere fast with this guy. He was obviously a former congressional page. I decided to see the head of security, and find out what's really going on.

Kmart's security chief told me she's "sure" KMart guards have done no unauthorized groping. But how the hell could she know that? Unless she physically stands next to a guard, she's really just guessing. And to be honest, these guards don't look like the best-trained fellows I've seen. In fact, I don't think they've had any training at all. As I made these points, the store manager jumped out from behind a Martha Stewart poster and told me they were answering no more of my stupid questions. If I wanted any more information, I'd have to call headquarters.

So that's what I did. KMart HQ is where the big decisions are made for the nation's number three retailer, like its decision to buy clothing from sweatshops, where women are abused worldwide. I was hoping to get Martha on the line, but she must have been baking cookies or something.

Late Monday, someone from corporate offices actually gave me a prepared statement: "We have no record of a complaint but we don't tolerate that type of treatment and we've brought it to the attention of the third party security company." Translation? "You can't prove a frickin' thing and even if you could you can't sue us because our security is supplied by a third party and we don't care if they're nitwits as long as they're cheap. Drop dead, bozo." I speak corporation.

Women don't feel right when groped by a stranger, even if he wears a uniform. They're funny that way. It's called sexual assault. And as the number of pat-down searches has increased, complaints have soared as well. Unfortunately, most women are reluctant to complain publicly about this invasion of their privacy and private parts. I think KMart is trying to save a few bucks by hiring a security company that does not have a trained staff. And one or two of these fellows just might be copping a feel here and there on unsuspecting customers. Talk to one of the guards and you'll see what I mean. I'm sure this is no biggie to KMart, considering what happens to women in the sweatshops where their clothing is manufactured.

As I left Easton's K-Mart, the guard did not search me. But he did blow me a kiss. So I gave him Angle's number and told him to call after 9. That dude has a future in politics!

11 comments:

  1. Good for Ron... he deserves true love.

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  2. The love he will get from the guy at KMart isn't the same love that I can give him Bernie. This is truly special.

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  3. I guess you mean Buddha's love. (See today's one liner).

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  4. He Bernie, just wait 'til the next time we get you at the courthouse!

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  5. Uh oh. Time to break out that rubber underwear.

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  6. You look like a terrorist,...that's why.

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  7. Why do you give this fool who called the radio show the satisfaction of wasting space on this nonsense. You went and observed there were no random searches and they did not search you. Done. Case closed.

    The caller wasn't even an observer, he was reporting to you secondhand info. Me thinks he had a grudge with KMart and he used you to give them some crap.

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  8. To Anon 1:00, If that was his motivation he succeeded. True, I saw no random searches and was not myself searched during my brief period at the store. But I had a good opportunity to talk to the guard, and it was pretty clear to me the dude had no training at all. And the way he talked, he made it sound like it was pretty much up to each guard. "I don't know if the other guards do it."

    Now KMart can piously deny that this sort of thing happens. But I would like to make three points. First, they hired a third party company that obviously does not train its guards in an effort to save a few bucks. Second, the potential for abuse is there, and women are reluctant to complain. Third, I have a hard time accepting the sincerity of a statement from a company that pays 18 cents to some poor girl for a pair of jeans that it then sells for $24.

    So I wrote about it.

    But you may be right, and I thank you for your comments.

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  9. Dr. Rick, And that's actually one of my better pics.

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  10. You got it Spike. KMart has made these offensive pat-downs a possibility by hiring a third party so that it can later claim it knew nothing.

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