Local Government TV

▼

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Nazareth's Top Secret Plan

I've been catching some flack over yesterday's post, in which I speculated that some Lehigh Valley pols might be vampires, particularly those in Nazareth. First, I started getting all kinds of hang up calls from people playing kazoos, Nazareth's official musical instrument. Then I got a strange call from some guy who wanted to know what I was wearing. Finally, when I left for work, all the tires on my jeep were punctured (I think they were fang marks). I tried reporting this vandalism, but the police just laughed. So I called the papers, but they've blocked calls from my phone again.

OK, I'll admit it. Maybe I was a bit rough. As I've said before, I'm sure that even those pols who support a new government center at Nazareth Hall Park are only interested in what's best for Nazareth. In that spirit, I decided to take a look at the plans for Nazareth Hall Park while my tires were getting fixed. But when the secretary left to use the ladies' room, I pulled open a file drawer and found the real plan, which you can see for yourself. Holy cannoli! They really are vampires!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
That does it. Angle just offered me an apartment in southern Lebanon real cheap. I'm outa' here.
at

4 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 19, 2006 at 8:43 AM

    Bernie, you need to drink two bottles of Holy Water from the local Catholic Chirch, a bowl of split pea soup (A la the Excorcist), and call the Pope in the Morning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bernie O'HareJuly 19, 2006 at 8:53 AM

    OK. I just called the Pope and I think they got to him. He's speaking Latin backwards.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 19, 2006 at 12:01 PM

    Is your head spining yet? LOL!
    I think you need to start attending a political self help group I recently heard about.
    It's called "Nazareth Borough Council" and while they all seem to suffer from some strange ailment or the other, there seems to be a common delusion that many of them share, an uncontrollable urge to spend tax dollars foolishly.
    Another Common delusion is fear of sunlight, and if you truly have been infected, you will fit right in.
    Do you remember a syndicated show about ten years ago called "Nick Knight"? It was about a "Good" Vampire who worked the night shift as a cop, and drank cows blood to stay alive.
    Is it possible he was real, and is now a Nazareth cop?
    Just wondering, your friend, Anon

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bernie O'HareJuly 19, 2006 at 12:08 PM

    I don't know, but I do know that all the cows that used to be in Nazareth's outskirts have now disappeared. I thought it was development, but now I wonder.

    ReplyDelete

You own views are appreciated, especially if they differ from mine. But remember, commenting is a privilege, not a right. I will delete personal attacks or off-topic remarks at my discretion. Comments that play into the tribalism that has consumed this nation will be declined. So will comments alleging voter fraud unless backed up by concrete evidence. If you attack someone personally, I expect you to identify yourself. I will delete criticisms of my comment policy, vulgarities, cut-and-paste jobs from other sources and any suggestion of violence towards anyone. I will also delete sweeping generalizations about mainstream parties or ideologies, i.e. identity politics. My decisions on these matters are made on a case by case basis, and may be affected by my mood that day, my access to the blog at the time the comment was made or other information that isn’t readily apparent.