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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Upper Mount Bethel Gets $8,000 Grant to Build 1-Foot Observation Tower

They don't call Upper Mount Bethel Township the Cancun of the Lehigh Valley for nothing. For one thing, it has its very own Stonehenge at Columcille Megalith Park. Once a month, that's where they sacrifice Democrats. But everyone knows that. I'm writing for another reason, and that's to tell you of plans to build an observation tower next to some garden for endangered and rare plants. Supervisors are using $8,000 in some conservation grant for this project. There's only one problem. The tower is just a foot high.

Manager Bob Cartwright tells me it can only be a foot high because it has to be ADA accessible. If it were much higher, someone might do a header and sue the Township. Worse yet, someone might try to kill himself by doing a swan dive right into the garden for endangered plants. Ron Angle does live in the Township, so the suicide rate is pretty high.

Anyhoo, Cartwright claims that people will be welcome to bring a lawn chair or wheelchair and sit on the observation tower, watching the cattails and other fantastic flora. He told me that Upper Mount Bethel is the only place in the universe where you can watch the Mount Bethel Fenn.

Angle was out there a few days ago to meditate, and claims he saw a very unusual animal, swimming between the fenns. It's the real reason he dropped out of the Controller's race. It looks like this:


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'll build the tower for 5K

Anonymous said...

once again these hicks prove they should be in w virginia

Anonymous said...

This is why people complain about their taxes and hate their government. As they should, given this absurdity.

Anonymous said...

I will gladly contribute six dollars to any elected official who will tell me when the stealth RFP will be issued. I am a new contractor in town and am fascinated by the renaissance in Allentown. I want to bring the same enthusiasm to UMB. I may need the help of a consultant. I would gladly attend a party for any candidates for office and would gladly contributed the sum of one hamburger to discuss the project and gain a better understanding of the requirements to submit a most Ernest and successful bid. Respectfully, Seymor Contribute