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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Friday, December 26, 2014

Christmas Breakfast at the Angle Estate

Yes, those are windshield wiper glasses. The derringers were
Ron's gift to Max.
Most of my Jewish friends celebrate Christmas by going to Chinese restaurants. I used to like to do that myself, but let's face it. I'm a bottom-feeding blogger. I've worn out my welcome [and credit] at most places.  But there is one spot where I am welcome. Yes, I have to scale the electric fence with concertina wire and get past the hounds. Then  I have to swim a moat infested by sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. But after that, it's all good. I had Christmas breakfast at the Ron Angle estate yesterday.

Because he had given his servants a half day off, Angle did the cooking. He's pretty good.  Just last year, over 500 people in Upper Mount Bethel were ready to string him up over what he insists is his God-given right to spread shit on his land. So naturally, the first course was shit on a shingle. Quite tasty, too. There were also slabs of bacon, mountains of homefries, eggs cooked however you want them and, believe it or not, filet Mignon.

I was joined there by Bangor School Director Bob Cartwright and the evil Mark.

There are two Marks in Upper Mount Bethel. The good Mark is Mark Cotturo, a former male model adored by women everywhere, kinda' like me. His flaw is that he is always trying to help people. He probably spent Christmas at some food bank or conent.  Evil Mark is Mark Thatcher. He gained some notoriety last year when he flushed Tony Lynch's cell phone right down the shitter at the Mount Bethel Diner.

Though Angle got a crack scuba team to fish it out of there, the phone was beyond hope and had to be shot.

Evil Mark is badass, almost as bad as me. Almost. Nobody has ever written any essay calling him the Son of Satan. 

Thatcher also likes to heckle people at public meetings. He sometimes goes to Upper Mount Bethel or Bangor school meetings just so he can torment officials. He and Angle pull a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 act. Most of it is barely audible. Cartwright pretends he doesn't know them.

At one school board meeting that I attended, I got blamed for the Thatcher and Angle wisecracks. A school teacher got up and tried to give me a detention, while Angle and Thatcher sat there like altar boys.

Cartwright, who lives in Portland, tells me it's the Cancun of the Lehigh Valley. He has been criticized over the years for just about everything. But one thing even his enemies agree on is that he is a great father to his 18 and 19 year old daughters. They gave him a coffee mug (he ordered them to give him nothing) inscribed with some very sweet sentiments by these two young ladies to their dad.

Badass Mark  usually gets despondent at Christmas because there are so few row home fires. But after Cartwright read him a week's worth of obituaries, he was smiling again. He didn't have to flush anyone's cell phone.

Ron's sons Max and Ron, Jr., were home and sat down with us old farts for a bit, which was very nice of them both.  Ron's beautiful wiife Sharon, who was at the barn when we first came, eventually joined us, too.She tried to get away, but we got here just as she was hopping the fence. She got stuck on the barbed wire.

She gave me a kiss.

But then again, so did Badass Mark.

A lot of you wonder if Ron is running for this or that office. I like to fan those flames myself, from time to time. I know it drives his detractors nutz.. Also, there are very few people who are as knowledgeable about local government as he. But he seems unenthusiastic about a do-over. He actually enjoys occupying the highest office we have - citizen.

As I left him, he was going out to feed his cows.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL Merry Christmas

Anonymous said...

I hear Karner was there to give you guys a kiss for Christmas. She must have closed her eyes.

Anonymous said...

The electrical outlet (in pic) will not pass current building code standards.

Anonymous said...

Where are the drones set to stun when they could be put to best use. The disbarred and the perpetrator of serial fraud.

Anonymous said...

The way you are smiling, it looks like you were impaled as an ornament topping Ron's Xmas tree.
On the bright side.....it was great you could enjoy Christmas with your good friend. That's what Christmas is all about. I hope you had the Merriest of Christmas' and best of luck in the new year.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Bernie, hope you enjoyed the day as much as it seems!

The Banker

Anonymous said...

"Where are the drones set to stun when they could be put to best use"

Put some more alcohol in your morning coffee - you're incoherent now, perhaps you'll be passed out by the time the sun goes over the yardarm.

John said...

You have outdone yourself, Bernie.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"I hear Karner was there to give you guys a kiss for Christmas. She must have closed her eyes."

She'd also have to drink great quantities of alcohol, then go into isolation for possible Ebola. .

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Where are the drones set to stun when they could be put to best use. The disbarred and the perpetrator of serial fraud."

Mezzacrappy is full of venom, even on Christmas.

Anonymous said...

You look goofier than field hockey players with those goggles.

Anonymous said...

Are those pistols registered?

maverick said...

Bernie, I'm still LMAO! Glad to see you had a nice time with your friends-that's what Christmas is all about...

Peter J.Cochran said...

Bernie ,drop the cholesterol intake,watch your BMI index. Tomorrow back to work . The Morning Call had front page on my pet subject-NONPROFITS in relation to property taxes.Please expand on this .I want debate personally,all the smart people that object to opinion. Maybe that river rat Henry will even sign his real pathetic name,and chime in . This is important to all communities . Ann Gingerich say's"Historically nonprofits were formed for the relieving government of it's burden of providing services to vulnerable populations in the community ." Well I would dispute this statement.The real estate exemption for 'charitable ','religious',or'' educational''activities arose in an earlier age when such institutions were financially struggling. Not as stated by Ms. Gingerich.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Peter, if the river rat does comment here under his name, I delete him. He or Mezzacappa has also taken to impersonating you here, posting filthy rants under your name.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Maverick, Wish you had been there.

Peter J.Cochran said...

Bernie ,I want to have at him and test his metal. I will get serious about this and not make typos and with my keyboard beat him up . I'm tan ,rested,and ready!

Peter J.Cochran said...

Bernie -I have ''intell''.I can tell you about our Buddy Ron in Washington ,D.C. when he was in the Marine Corps. --but not here.I suspect Mezza Lady uses a black fall , and could not hit you from 10 yards away.I want to debate Henry smartypants.

Peter J.Cochran said...

Anon 4;29 -Nobody 'registers' candle lighters.

Anonymous said...

Hope you had a great time but what of Jim Gregory. I think this is his second Christmas in prison for a non-violent offense . What of his Christmas?

Mr. Gregory has said he and Ron Angle have a lot in common. When he is finally released he will re-enter politics. If not as a candidate a political consultant. If Mr. Angle runs for Controller, Jim Gregory can get him elected.

Bernie O'Hare said...

1. Gregory is in prison bc that is where he belongs.
2. He is a woman beater, not a nonviolent offender.
3. As a narcissist, it is impossible for him to express remorse. I suspect he will do his entire sentence.
4. Angle is more than capable of spotting a weasel and would have nothing to do with that piece of shit.

Anonymous said...

Thanx Bernie,
Another gut busting laugh especially the picture? Were did you's guys get the goggles and were they use for diving for the phone or searching for the infamous shitfly in the outhouses?

redd
patent pending

Bernie O'Hare said...

Sharon got the glasses.

Anonymous said...

"Hope you had a great time but what of Jim Gregory. I think this is his second Christmas in prison for a non-violent offense . What of his Christmas?"

Jim Gregory is a pathetic loser and is in jail because of Jim Gregory, Mezzalunatic. And you know it. Have some more alcohol, if you really can't count to two Christmases in prison.

Why would you think anyone but you cares about him or his Christmas? Personally, I hope he was fed eggs and toast for Christmas dinner.

Anonymous said...

It is truly sad that during the
Christmas season so few people have love in their hearts. Jim Gregory is languishing in prison and yet people still attack him, why?

He is a vegetarian and word is now he is not receiving the proper diets. Yet still no forgiveness in your hearts.

Mr. Gregory is not a monster but you act like he is a murderer or worse.

None of us know exactly what transpired in his relationship. I understand he has forgiven his ex. So maybe we should be more generous in our spirit and words.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Gregory is a monster. The way he stared at his ex during the PFA contempt hearings tells me all I need to know. A female DA stood between her and Gregory so the nonsense would stop.

He is so manipulative that he had inmates write letters to his ex from jail, with notes from him buried in them. He had inmates call her on their release.

He beats women and is where he belongs. One person who helped ensure his lengthy jail sentence is Tricia Mezzacappa.

Though he is the one who should be seeking for whiteness, he has forgiven no one and has instead promised that the wrath of God upon his release. He is a predator and a manipulator who is exactly where he belongs.

Bernie O'Hare said...

For whiteness = forgiveness. Auto correct

maverick said...

Bernie, I would have joined you, but true to the spirit of Christmas, I was doing good deeds....

Anonymous said...

"He is a vegetarian and word is now he is not receiving the proper diets."

Cry me a river. Don't do the crime if you can't eat the slime.

Drive some ready to eat rations of your "vegan" hot choco to him in the Mercedes. You and he are a matched pair. No respect for the law, and when you are found guilty you blame everyone else. It never occurs to you it's all your own doing. Buy a mirror.

Anonymous said...

He was never found guilty of an assault, only contempt. Stop blaming a woman for that.

Anonymous said...

Gregory and Mezzacappa are both animals

Bernie O'Hare said...

After hearings that he contested, he was adjudicated a woman beater. Twice. He batters women. Mezzacappa has a record of violence as well, including a death threat to an elected official, abuse of a poor borough clerk and even fighting in the street. .

Anonymous said...

Bernie,
I have to get a pair of those glasses can you publish were Ron's wife picked them up?

redd
patent pending

Bernie O'Hare said...

I think she bought them in New Hope, believe it or not. There is a shop there that sells gag gifts.

Anonymous said...

Hope you enjoyed yourself.

Retiring employees--If you stick to facts, you make your point: John Brown and his right hand man Scomillio--do they not have any clue or do they not care? People quit collect pensions and sometimes medical benefits. When the position is filled, there is an additional salary + benefits and did scomillio remind Brown that when part time employees work over 1,000 hours in a year, they are automatically in the pension plan? Or did he know that? Can someone check what has happened at Gracedale?