Yesterday, I told you that I have absolutely no class and am, indeed, a bottom-feeding blogger. That's all the Fake Rev, Mario Martinez of Forks Township, needed to issue a fatwa.
Before doing so, the Prevaricatin' Preacher explains that I'm a "self professing opportunist who seeks quick profit usually at the expense of others or from their misfortune." Also, I'm the "lowest form of pond scum."
Since scum rises to the top, "whale shit" would have been the correct terminology in that phrase.
Anyhoo, the cRaZy Cleric's fatwa, issued on behalf of both Jesus and "We, the People," is this: "[A]ny elected representative of The People who deals with this self professing bottom feeder...can't be much better - and out too they must go! ... It behooves all self-serving politicians to take a serious note on this point...or possibly suffer the same fate as Ron Angle. Remember - No one thought his ousting was possible - But it was...and it happened - didn't it?"
Is that the best the Mustached Mujaheddin can do?
Here's a better one, thanks to Fatwa4You:
In the name of Barron von Footinmouth, the Gruesome, the Resourceful. All Honor and Gratitude belongs to Barron von Footinmouth. Blessed are the Disciples of Barron von Footinmouth, the Gracedale Guardians.Nice to see the Fake Rev is focused like a laser beam on everything BUT Gracedale.
To Bernie O'Hare, Hell's busboy, Flatulent Parrot of Blemished Genealogy, I say this:
By viciously starting a war with my favorite nursing home and by making a mockery out of my mustache, you have called upon you a disturbing and displeasing fate. If Barron von Footinmouth - in all his mighty Wisdom and Prudence - wishes so, you shall be punished by being involved in embarrassing yet unsatisfying sex scandals involving gerbils, until the very End of Eternity.
Did Barron von Footinmouth, proud Lion of Gracedale - may Peace rest upon Him - not warn you which fate would be your part? All Camels of Carnage: leave the House of Gracedale or you will encounter the Volcanoes of Hatred you raised among our people - heroic is our nature - by starting a war with Gracedale.
By Barron von Footinmouth's kilt, the Mujaheddin of Gracedale will triumph over your evil methods of Hatred. With the power of Gracedale and the flaming Sword of Barron von Footinmouth, we will diminish your inferior ideologies and Peace will return to the House of Gracedale!
Have a nice day.