Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Obama's New Government Guardian Angel Program

Scott Armstrong is one busy Allentown activist. In addition to his job and family responsibilities, he publishes The Allentown Commentator and blogs at the recently launched Lehigh Valley Conservative Voice. His services are always in high demand, mostly because he is one of very few Lehigh Valley conservatives who actually knows how to read and write. His well-chosen words, often dripping with sarcasm, have ignited more than a few fires on this blog.

Many of you consider him a rabid partisan, but I'll let you in on a little secret. His beautiful wife, like beautiful me, voted for beautiful Obama. She'd rather listen to "All Things Considered" than Rush Limbaugh. She even made Scott move his Glenn Beck statue to their back yard. Worst of all, she's French.

Scott's latest essay is an examination of Obama's new Government Guardian Angel Program. I told him last night that after I post this, I'm moving into the bunker.

The administration plans to move forward shortly with a bold new plan that will deal simultaneously with both the unemployment problem and the so called “Tea party” protesters. Anonymous White House insiders say the proposal will provide funding to employ Democrat activists who will provide mentoring and guidance to Americans who have demonstrated a misunderstanding of the president’s message of Hope and Change. These misguided people have been identified through various channels including surveillance photos and informants and clearly need to have their values and energies redirected. It will be the duty of their new “Government Guardian Angel” to see that they understand clearly and quickly that service, faith and obedience to the government are essential to their future well being. According to reports these “angels” will be granted sweeping powers and discretionary authority over their charges.

Based on the 2008 election results government economists believe this program could supply jobs for as many as fifty million people in time but warn the program could take months or even years to get fully operational. In addition, some of those targeted for “government angels” will come into compliance with acceptable thoughts and practices more quickly than others. This will add a variable to potential employment possibilities. Still the administration sees this program as a win-win for the nation. With one single effort we can end unemployment, dissent and discord. Hope will triumph when the nations sings in a single unified voice, it will be a happy day for America.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

WTF is this about? Where does he get this stuff from?

Bernie O'Hare said...

It's satire, dude.

Anonymous said...

Mmm mmm mmm. Barack Hussein Obama.

Obama provides infinitely more material for those with the guts to write it. He's the equivalent of the first Harlem Globe Trotter President. No matter how many times you watch his clownish performance, you still laugh each time he throws the bucket of confetti - or apologizes to and cowers before yet another totalitarian regime, or says he's going to close black prisons and stop rendering, or get out of wars instead of getting more into expanded wars. The guys is a daily riot.

We're not permitted to laugh at his daily, goofy antics, however. That would be racist.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:44 is not omly a personal attack but the standard veiled Republican Racist remark. Will ohare delete it?

Anonymous said...

3:51 has skin that's thinner than President Obama's is black. The humorless get up very early. I imagine this lefty sentry believes it is equally offensive to laugh at the Harlem Globetrotters or any African-Americans whose actions seem funny. Reverse racists are still racists.

ironpigpen said...

Very few conservatives who know how to read and write, huh...

how about that.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Will ohare delete it?"

I asked Humpty and he said NO.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Very few conservatives who know how to read and write, huh..."

True, but you guys are great singers. Don't feel bad.

Anonymous said...

East German Stasi - Obama's Guardian Angels

Schlaf gut, Amerika

:)

Anonymous said...

Freakin Armstrong. I hope his kid's public school teacher makes him sing the Praise to Comrade Obama song in class. You know the one, "Barack Hussein Obama, He will bring about the day.. of equal work for equal pay!"

Anonymous said...

Barely clever.

In reality, no need to develop, just appropriate from Beck & Hannity's employer, MurdoxCorp.

The online & offline behavioral tracking's plenty robust across their myriad cross-owned properties, including beyond the flagship cable & broadcast properties: Wall Street Journal, NY Post, Dow freaking Jones' Index, info channels & group publishing chains including The Pocono Record, all the Sunday coupons aka News America Marketing & SmartSource, HarperCollins & Zondervan Publishing, and of course MySpace& Beliefnet...just to scratch the surface.

The beauty part is this: While they're reaping profits agitating tea baggers to protest taxes & reality, selling the fools to their advertisers -- they shamelessly dodge more taxes than any other media company on earth. Sold as jokes, tracked across a gazillion sites, FOX's followers might wanna see News Corp's 152 tax-dodging, dummy shell companies in 14 different haven "countries." See: GAO Report 09-157 on International Taxation, p. 38
http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d09157.pdf

Anonymous said...

Barrack Hussein Obama

mmm mmm mmm

ironpigpen said...

12:12

How many lobbyists?

How many czars?

Transparency?

Van Jones?

ACORN?

How many broken campaign promises?

What's up with Afghanistan?

Your guy is NOT naive with foreign policy? (that's not what Sarkozy says)

How's Hope and Change working out for YOU?

Bet you can't wait for Cap and Tax.

See you in the funny papers.

LVCI said...

Satire aside... This is not NEW. It was put together by Utah's Democratic Headquarters back in January, not actually by Obama himself. Although he did it endorse it under his Serve.Gov

What they actually did back in February
Obama's Angels gathered over 4,500 lbs. of food on behalf of Utah Food Bank during the 2009 MKL National Day of Service Food Drive- SLC

Satire is all fine and dandy, but doesn't this just further divide people's animosity towards one another?

Anonymous said...

Bernie,
Thought I'd let you know that some of your links are working for this post as well as the Lehigh Valley Conservative link on the far left. Perhaps, the problem is on my end although I've tried it a few times just now. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, it should have read, "some of your links are not working for this post"

Bernie O'Hare said...

"the Lehigh Valley Conservative link on the far left."

Gotta' love that!

I've checked and the links are accurate. Scott told me their new site is giving them fits, so they must be having trouble at their end.

ironpigpen said...

But then, if you love government control over every aspect of your life...the Obama Administration is for you.

Good luck. You might need it eventually.

Anonymous said...

mmm mmm mmm

Barrack Hussein Obama

Anonymous said...

Now THIS is FUNNY!!! From Scott Armstrong's "Allentown Commentator" blog, NOT racist at all (wink wink) ...

Anonymous said...

Now THIS is FUNNY!!! From Scott Armstrong's "Allentown Commentator" blog, NOT racist at all (wink wink) ...

ironpigpen said...

Afghanistan anyone?

How much carbon footprint to Copenhagen?

Satire Afghanistan.

What were the campaign promises with Afghanistan. Obama made SO many, how can one be expected to remember ALL of them?

WHAT has Obama's handpicked general had to say lately?

Let me guess, evil nasty Republicans engaged in a vast conspiracy...but its so refreshing to finally have a smart President...Bush is to blame for ALL that is wrong in the world...

ironpigpen said...

"Republicans want you to die quickly"

Congressman Alan Grayson, Democrat - Florida, speaking on the House floor.

Liberals are so full of love, never vile hatred. How refreshing and wonderful.

Tra la la

Anonymous said...

The GOP

The Party of the three R's, Rude, Racist and Republican

LVCI said...

If only we could solve all the nation's ills if it were only that simple... One party is evil, the other good.

Pick one or the other and all your troubles will go away in a puff of smoke.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to hear Sweet Georgia Brown whistled over top of each night's offering from MSNBC - if it's still on the air.