Friday, September 26, 2008

Mmm', PETA Wants Human Breast Milk in Ben & Jerry's

PETA demands that Ben & Jerry's start using human breast milk in their ice cream. Apparently, milking cows is very stressful to bovines, who eventually die and are turned into disgusting hamburgers.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this human breast milk idea would be just fine with Hooters.

22 comments:

A.J.C. said...

Another fine reason why I despise PETA. Now they're going after my favorite ice cream!

Anonymous said...

I wish they'd direct more focus on saving defenseless polyesters. What a bunch of boobs.

Favorite PETA joke:

Seal walks into a club ...

Anonymous said...

if that's the case, rest assured i will NOT be eating any cherry garcia...

Bob Jr. said...

anon 7:06, what's so funny about seals being clubbed to death? Let me know when you get back from the pigeon shoot. I also know a dog kennel in Berks County where you can volunteer.
anon 7:12: Is the cherry garcia your dessert after the veal dinner?

Look Out Lehigh Valley said...

at another internet place I visit, someone posted this:
"Peta makes me embarrassed to be a vegetarian" (not in response to the Breast Milk suggestion - which as far as I'm concerned there is absolutely nothing "weirder" about consuming HUMAN milk than there is about consuming COW milk, but about one of the many other totally stupid PETA initiatives), and I only had this to respond:

As much as thinking about PETA embarrasses me as a vegetarian and animal rights advocate - when I think about the meat industry I am much much much more embarrassed for all of the people who are not vegetarians.

Bob Jr. said...

right on, look out. Some of us can see the gray between the black & white. PETA often acts like jerks, but it's mainly to get its message noticed. AJC, save your despise for more worthy foes. I've given money to PETA, but I've also spent a lot of money on its arch-enemy, super hunter and rock n roll hero Ted Nugent. I love 'em both. May you find happiness in a balanced life.

J. SPIKE ROGAN said...

Not sure what the PETA dairy farm would look like.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Spike, That was your BEST line ever.

Brad Moulton said...

PETA is way off base (again). Has anyone seen what happens to a cow that hasn't been milked? And they talk about cruelty to animals...

Anonymous said...

From the always-brilliant Onion:

Animal-Rights Activists Release 71,000 Cows Into Wild
December 16, 1998 | Issue 34•20


PRAIRIE DU CHIEN, WI—Members of the radical group Animal Liberation Front swept through a 900-square-mile region of Western Wisconsin Monday, freeing an estimated 71,000 cows from their human captors.

"These cows are finally free to run wild through the wilderness," said ski-masked ALF member "Brent," loosing a 200-head Guernsey herd from Milk-Rite Dairy in Reedsburg. "No creature should have to live in servitude to humans."

Within hours of the cows' release, police departments throughout the area began receiving reports of bovine fatalities.

"We've been getting calls all night long," Viroqua police chief Dale Chambers said. "So far, 43 cows have been hit by cars, 11 have fallen off bridges and drowned, and three have been electrocuted from chewing on power lines."

Among the 71,000 freed cows were 450 Jerseys from the Cumberland Dairy Farm near Prairie du Chien, liberated by a team of activists in a midnight raid. The cows were loaded onto trucks, then transported 100 miles north and freed in a forest clearing, where, as of press time, all 450 were standing around eating grass.

The long-distance transport of the Cumberland cows was deemed necessary in light of an event last August, when 80 Milking Shorthorns were released from the Miklewski farm in Beloit, only to wander back into their pens the next day.

"It was the greatest thrill of my life to have personally broken the padlock on the gate that cruelly held these cows," Animal Liberation Front member Ross Kreutzman said. "As long as I live, I'll never forget the lazy, sluggish look in those cows' eyes as I shoved them through the gate with all my might."

Animal activists are hailing the raid as a major victory for cows' rights.

"Cows do not belong in dairy farmers' pens. They belong out in the wilderness, where they may run free with the wolves and bears," PETA spokesperson Linda McCune said. "This raid was an important first step toward returning the proud, majestic cow to its natural environs."

Monday's cow release is the highest-profile raid for the Animal Liberation Front since October 1996, when the group released three million chickens into Yosemite National Park.

Look Out Lehigh Valley said...

"Has anyone seen what happens to a cow that hasn't been milked?"

I'm not sure if this is a joke that is just going over my head, but cows produce milk so that they can nurse their calves.... if their calves weren't cruelly taken from them on the day of birth for veal production, the calf would nurse for 10 months and then the cow would stop producing milk... no animal cruelty there.

Ever wonder how they keep those dairy cows producing milk? Cows, like humans, only produce milk when pregnant & after giving birth - as a matter of fact, humans can continue lactating for years after pregnancy, while cows can only lactate for 10 months. In a "cruelty free" dairy cow environment, a dairy cow is cycled in an out of "production" and can produce milk for over 10 years, and often live for upwards of 20 years. In a typical factory farming environment, cows are continually impregnated, are never cycled out of production, and after about 4 years are considered to be "stressed" and sent to slaughter.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 2:26, The Onion is always the best!

Bernie O'Hare said...

LOLV, On behalf of cows everywhere, I thank you.

Look Out Lehigh Valley said...

I also think that its important to note in light of that onion piece that no informed animal rights activist actually advocates for "freeing" domestic livestock to "live in the wilderness." The goal is not to have 38 million cows hanging out by the side of the road.

gsbrace said...

"and three have been electrocuted from chewing on power lines."

What? I love the onion.

I'm not sure who bob,jr is, but the word balance needs to be applied to more of society. You are a true wise one bob, jr.

Valima said...

A very good long time friend of mine is a dairy farmer. My children have learned to milk and work on that farm.

If PETA says milking cows is stressful to bovines and eventually die and are turned into hamburgers then they are full of fertilizer. ;)

First of all, you don't use dairy cows for burgers. You use steer.

My friend's cousin who lives down the road, raises steer.

You don't milk steer and you don't eat dairy cow.

Secondly, PETA should go after the unethical practices of large commercial farms, not the practice itself of milking a cow.

And why would I give my breast milk so B&J can make ice cream. Milking my breasts is very stressful and they (my breasts) would eventually turn into disgusting sacks and hang to my knees! ;)

Bernie O'Hare said...

And after that, you'd be hauled off and turned into hamburger.

Now excuse me while I go munch on some power lines.

Look Out Lehigh Valley said...

Valima - your post is the exact reason why most people dislike PETA - they take an extreme view that all animal exploitation is cruelty, and do not differentiate between a factory farm or a small-scale operation.

I choose not to consume meat from any source - but I recognize that my choice is not the right one for everyone. I only wish that people would in general be more informed about how they get their animal products, the conditions the animals lived and died in, and the health/environmental costs to their food choices.

Obviously many small farms practice cruelty-free dairy production, or egg gathering, or livestock raising. Unfortunately, in our food economy, this kind of farming accounts for less than 2% of our food supply.

Dean N. Browning said...

An example of not thinking things through:

"Cows do not belong in dairy farmers' pens. They belong out in the wilderness, where they may run free with the wolves and bears," PETA spokesperson Linda McCune said.

I wonder if Ms. McCune knows what wolves and bears do to survive in the wilderness and just how long domesticated cows would be able to "run free".

Bernie O'Hare said...

Dean,

Just to clarify things for you, that Onion piece is a parody. Although my original post is real enough, someone at the Onion decided to have some fun.

Dean N. Browning said...

Opps. Then I guess it's too late to say the same about my post. Thanks for the clarification.

Anonymous said...

"anon 7:06, what's so funny about seals being clubbed to death? Let me know when you get back from the pigeon shoot. I also know a dog kennel in Berks County where you can volunteer.
anon 7:12: Is the cherry garcia your dessert after the veal dinner?"

Looks like Bob needs to put away the trophy for Most Likely To Be A Sullen Humorless Bumper Sticker and find a sense of humor. They give them away as door prizes at my pigeon shoot.