Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Buddy Christ's Election Day Checklist

Feel free to post your own endorsements today. I'm going to be a little busy. I plan on voting in every precinct. I'm a Democrat and that's what we do. Buddy Christ has stepped to the plate, and will give his infallible election picks.

Hi boys and girls! Got Christ? Who's your Buddy? Who's the slick with the pick? That's right, bippy, it's Me. O'Hare doesn't know it yet, but I just locked him in the can. I'll let him out at 8:01 PM. Who says I don't have a sense of humor? And now let me give you my election day picks. This will boil your holy water.

Act 1 Referendum: Vote NO. Anything that needs the Holy Slide Rule is Trouble!

Easton's mayor:
Fleck's a wreck! When he started plastering signs on My church steeples, he lost Me. Vote Panto. He can't walk on water like Me, but he'll restore some sanity in Easton.

Easton's city council: Anyone but
Jeff Warren! Liked him, but that all changed when he filed his finance report. Two words. Special interests.

Easton's magisterial contest:
Brian Monahan. He took a lickin' and kept on tickin'.

Bethlehem's city council: They're
too damned boring! Are they still alive? I'd spice them up with Dana Grubb. He'd keep an eye on Callahan. Grubb's also offering a free wrestling clinic for elected officials in June. But the three incumbents will win. Yawn.

Bethlehem's school board: It's time for some changes, and sister
Judy Dexter tells us why. I hope she's attending Grubb's wrestling clinic.

Bethlehem's magisterial race: Pat Romig-Passaro
deserves a shot, but has got to stop writing her name like that. Seriously.

Nazareth's mini-judge: Anyone but
Falcone! If this election season lasted just a few more days, she'd break out her 5th grade geography quizzes to show us she "far surpasses" her lowly opponents. Forget mini-judge, she should be running for pope!

Northampton County Council, Nazareth District: Lamont, Lamont! Dude! What's with those
repeated Sunshine Act violations, attempted invasion of the budgetary reserve, worse attendance record on council, special interest campaign contributions and all that mudslinging about Will Power's deceased paraplegic brother. You need a time out. Vote for Will Power.

Northampton County Council, Slate Belt District:
John Maher, you sold your soul to Bossman Long in return for a lousy party endorsement. Now you're doing goofy things like planting signs in Nazareth, outside your district. You'll stumble through the primary, and fall in the Fall. The Evil One, Ron Angle, is waiting for you.


Anonymous said...

Sad but true in Bethlehem. Now someone show Maggie where her voting poll is located.

Pray for us.

Anonymous said...

Don't be so sure of all three incumbents...I'd say Donchez is the only safe bet.

Chris Casey said...

Hey Buddy Christ, can you forgive O'Hare? and while you're at it, put the fear of your father in Lamont?

Buddy Christ said...

Casey, The bastard is locked in the can w/ no toilet paper. Casey, you're next.

Anonymous said...

If Act 1 passes i am moving out of Pennsylvania.

Bernie O'Hare said...

If Act 1 fails, the state assembly will give you the same thing in Act 2.

Anonymous said...

The best plan for lowering property taxes would be to raise the sales tax 1%. And if people feel that the 1% is unfair to the poor, then allow people who make under a certain amount to get a credit on their income tax of $50-100 per year for the extra 1% tax.

There was a plan like this that failed in the State Senate a few years ago.