Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Poetic Justice for Larry Holmes

Have you ever seen Larry Holmes, the Easton Assassin? Doesn't seem the killer type. Every time I've seen the former heavyweight champ, he has a faint smile. I've met him a few times over many years, and he's always been generous to a fault. A gentle giant. But however docile he may appear, he still knocked out 44 people in his boxing career. He's a monster in sartorial splendor.

Before I continue, I have to warn you this tale might be a complete crock, a Lehigh Valley legend. I haven't checked it out. I'm nevertheless repeating it because that's what we bloggers do. Besides, even if this story has no foundation in fact, it should.

The way I hear it, Larry was in a line at one of our local convenience stores, waiting to play the lottery. Larry likes to gamble. When it was finally his turn, Larry insisted on playing his own numbers instead of using machine picks. Athletes are like that. They have a bizarre fascination with numbers. I'm surprised more aren't physicists.

Well, some cranky bastard behind Holmes (no, it wasn't me) lacked this numerical obsession, and was indignant that Larry was taking so long. He started complaining that Larry was slowing things down for the rest of them. Perhaps he was trying to commit suicide. I don't know, but there it is.

Instead of turning around and plastering this guy, Larry decided instead to play another ten games. This time he let the machine pick the numbers. And as luck would have it, Larry won big. Some say $1,000. Others say $20,000.

What's ironic about this is that if the curmudgeon behind Larry had patiently waited his turn, he would have been the big winner.

Morals of this tale? 1) Good things come to those who wait. 2) Don't mess with the Easton Assassin.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is a damn good story.

Bernie O'Hare said...

If it's not true, it should be.

r.moshki said...

Maybe Larry would have given the $ to the man who gave him everything, the man Larry stabbed in the back, the late Earnie Butler.

Maybe not.